Fifty Emotions To Bare
by Aryea
Summary: Takes place during Fifty Shades Freed (So spoiler alert) After Ana has met with Jack Hyde and been assaulted. WHat happens when Christian finds her and the continuing scenes at the hospital while she is unconcious.
1. Chapter 1

_Based on the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L. James. _

_Thanks to everyone who continues to read my take on these wonderful books. It is very much appreciated! _

_This story takes place in Fifty Shades Freed after Ana has gone to Jack Hyde to save Mia. I always considered we were robbed in the book, because you only get Ana's point of view and there is barely a mention of what Christian went through. _

_Story suggested by Ljs117 in one of her reviews. Hope you enjoy it and if you do, please, please review!_

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**CHAPTER ONE**

Christian bolted from the vehicle before Taylor actually pulled to a stop, ignoring all his usual safety rules, and started running to the area where they had tracked Anastasia's cell phone. A shot rang out and he froze; his heart, mind and body stopped, his blood ran cold.

"ANA!" he screamed and terror had him moving again.

He spotted the tiny form of his wife curled up on the hard, cold pavement and everything else around him blurred, his lungs forgot how to gather air, his heart forgot to beat and time slowed to a horrible, aching crawl as he dropped to his knees beside her. "No, baby no!"

Tears streamed unchecked down his cheeks as he cradled her in his arms, there was no control now, no control, no anger, no fear only deep wounding loss. He didn't hear the sounds of the approaching ambulance or police. He didn't hear Taylor or Sawyer barking orders or the curses of Hyde rolling on the ground holding his injured leg. He was in a vacuum of misery and despair and all he could see, all he could hear and feel was the dead weight of the woman in his arms.

Oh God! Oh God, don't be dead! Please don't be dead! "Ana," he whimpered as he cradled her to him and rocked. "My Ana. Don't leave me. Please, take me with you. I have to be with you."

Sawyer, shaken by the complete physical and mental break down of Christian Grey remained between Hyde and Taylor and his employer. He chanced a glance at Mrs. Grey and a hot flush of guilt and anger overwhelmed him at the sight of the pale, broken woman currently cradled in Mr. Grey's arms. She had eluded him twice that day and he couldn't forgive himself for it. If Mr. Grey fired him it was certainly warranted. If Mr. Grey had him drawn and quartered he would accept his fate.

He slowly knelt beside his employer and realized that there was no pool of blood near Mrs. Grey. He cast a glance towards Hyde who was moaning and holding his bleeding leg, then swearing and cursing as Taylor roughly subdued him. "She wasn't shot, sir," he croaked in relief, and then quickly cleared his throat. "It was Hyde. Mrs. Grey wasn't shot."

Christian continued to rock Anastasia as he struggled to comprehend Sawyer's words. They had been muffled, as if coming through a thick wall or down a long tunnel. "W…what?"

"Mrs. Grey wasn't shot, Sir." Sawyer couldn't be sure of what injuries Mrs. Grey had sustained, but being shot wasn't one of them. He wanted to check her injuries, but didn't think his employer would release her to allow it. "There's no blood here, she wasn't shot, Sir. She isn't dead."

She isn't dead. She isn't dead. Christian blinked as his heart started to beat again and slowly he glanced down at the woman he held in his arms. Her face was bruised, her lip was bleeding, her skin iridescently pale, and her body completely limp.

"Not…" He looked at Sawyer and then back at Anastasia. "A…Ana? Ana, baby. Wake up." No response. "Ana?" He glanced up at Sawyer, then his eyes narrowed on the monster responsible.

"Get the fuck off me you fucking rent-a-cop!" Hyde growled as Taylor pushed him over, causing more pain to his injured leg, and stuck a hard knee into his back. "I'm fucking suing you for assault!" Hyde managed a look at the young, clearly devastated man curled on the ground next to the bitch who'd shot him and smirked, even as his arms were yanked behind him. "What's the matter Grey? I hear she _likes_ it rough…"

Christian felt rage fill him and, unwilling to release Anastasia, he reacted in the only way he saw available, by using a weapon he detested. He grabbed the gun on the ground beside his wife aimed it at Hyde and fired. The only reason his shot wasn't fatal was because Sawyer had excellent reflexes and managed to knock off his aim. The bullet missed Hyde by inches.

"You fucking saw that! He tried to kill me! That's attempted murder!" He cried out as the cold bite of metal pierced his wrists. "Fuck off! Not so tight you fucking asshole! I need a hospital you fucking…"

Taylor leaned his knee harder into the man's back, pressed Hyde's face against the asphalt and placed his gun against Hyde's exposed cheek. "If you don't shut up, I am going to blow your God damn brains all over the pavement," he growled so quietly against the man's ear that Hyde immediately stilled. "Understand this you sniveling rot-bastard. Those people are mine, and if anything else happens to Mrs. Grey, if she comes out of this with so much as a fucking hangnail, I will find you in whatever fucking prison they put you in, slice off your balls with a fucking box-cutter and feed them to you, do you understand?"

Hyde shut up, because overall he was a coward and he fully believed Taylor's threat.

"Mr. Grey?" Sawyer asked, quietly his hand still over Christian's on the weapon his employer still held as the police and paramedics arrived and the scene exploded with a flurry of activity. "You don't like guns, sir. Remember?"

Christian released the weapon almost immediately, his concern for Anastasia returning in full force, she still hadn't moved. "Ana? Please wake up, baby." He pulled her face towards his, pressed his lips to hers, and then held them there for what seemed like forever, until he finally felt the slightest of her breath touch him. "Yes," he whimpered. "Breathe. Please, breathe, baby. Please be okay."

A woman started whimpering as the police took her into custody and Christian chanced a look back at her. He knew who she was. That woman worked with Anastasia. What the fuck was she doing here? Had she been working with Hyde?

A female paramedic dropped down beside Hyde.

"If you fucking touch him, before my wife is in the God damn ambulance, I will have you fucking fired," Christian growled dangerously and, after a warning look from Taylor, the woman moved to tend to Anastasia. The second paramedic looked like he was considering working on Hyde, but Taylor blocked his path and shook his head.

Rather than pursue an argument, that would cause both patients to suffer, the male paramedic adjusted the gurney as the female checked Anastasia's pulse, pupil dilation and her breathing. "She definitely has a concussion," she confirmed as the other paramedic bent to lift Anastasia

Christian pushed them away. "I'll do it!" He gently lifted his wife and placed her on the gurney, then started to follow them to the ambulance. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed that the police had cuffed Elizabeth Morgan and shoved her in a squad car, and that two other policemen were helping a young woman out of the van.

"Mia!" He glanced at Taylor who had appeared by his side, having given over control of Hyde to the police. "Stay with Anastasia." He rushed to the van, lifted his little sister down and felt her slump against him. "Jesus Christ, Mia. What the hell are you doing here?"

"She was bound and unconscious in the van," one of the officers advised.

"Chris…ty?" Mia mumbled and stumbled, only to have Christian swing her up into his arms.

"Don't…feel…where's…Ana…Mom…"

"What did they do to her?"

"Looks like she's been drugged." the older officer claimed. "She's too out of it to give a statement, so maybe she should be taken to the hospital."

Christian nodded and carried Mia towards the ambulance where they had just loaded Anastasia. He was a mass of anger, nerves and fear. First Ana and now Mia.

"Sir," the male paramedic began as Christian handed Mia to Taylor, who had climbed up into the ambulance. "She isn't serious and will have to wait for the other ambulance. We have to take the gunshot wound and…"

"He is not riding with her!" Christian said grabbing the paramedic by the shirt and yanked him forward. "We are taking Mrs. Grey and my sister to the hospital now and if you don't want to drive, I fucking will!"

"But we…"

Taylor touched the young man's shoulder. "Mr. Grey is riding with his wife and sister." He applied the slightest pressure in warning. "And unless you want your next job to be cleaning out the city sewers, I suggest you get in the front and start driving."

The paramedic swallowed, and looked briefly like he was going to argue. He was both young and stupid.

"Just do it, Paul!" the female paramedic growled, then picked up her mike and advised the hospital of the two patients incoming and their statistics.

Paul, the paramedic slammed the ambulance doors as Christian and Taylor settled on either side of Mia. The female paramedic placed an oxygen mask over Anastasia's mouth and hooked her up to a portable heart monitor.

"How is she?" Christian demanded. "Is she okay? Will she be okay?"

"She has a concussion, sir," the woman advised kindly as she set up an IV for Anastasia. "Possibly broken ribs and lacerations, and her blood pressure is lower that I'd like, but they'll be able to tell you more at the hospital."

Broken ribs! Jesus! Had Hyde hit her? Of course he'd hit her. That monster had laid hands on his wife! Christian felt the rage fill him again and struggled to control it, but it threatened to boil over. He should have killed Hyde while he had him in his sights. He should have ripped his fucking throat out! He should have….

"My…fault…" Mia started to come out of her drug induced state and Christian's rage faded back slightly to be replaced by concern for his sister. "All…don't let them…"

"Are you hurt, Mia?" he demanded as the paramedic took a moment away from Anastasia to flash a penlight in his sister's eyes.

"Hurt….he….he wants to hurt…Ana."

"She's been heavily sedated." The woman put two fingers on Mia's throat and glanced at her watch. "She's coming out of it, but it will take awhile. She doesn't appear to have a concussion." She offered Christian a sympathetic look and lowered her voice. "They'll want to check her for assault at the hospital."

His eyes widened and his gut twisted as fury almost exploded from him. "Assault?" he managed through gritted teeth, and swallowed, hard when he realized the paramedic meant sexually. Jesus Christ!

"Christy…" Mia started to sob. "Don't hurt her…don't let him…hurt her."

Christian pushed back his anger and horror and folded her into his arms. "Hush now. Everything is okay." Even as he said the words he didn't believe them. He didn't know if anything would ever be okay again.

Hyde had somehow kidnapped his little sister and convinced Anastasia to meet him. He'd drugged and bound and did…God knew what to Mia, and had obviously assaulted Anastasia as well. Was that what the five million had been for, a ransom for Mia? He moaned as he caressed Mia's hair and stared at the prone, battered figure of his wife. He hadn't protected her. He hadn't kept her safe as he had promised and it was killing him.

"Taylor…" He paused, unable to form a coherent thought, so blinded by fear and rage and a number of emotions he couldn't even name. He'd been about to give an order…What the hell had he been about to say?

"Would you like me to call Mr. and Mrs. Grey, Sir?"

Christian blinked, and then nodded. Yes, that was what he'd been thinking. "Yes, call them. Tell them…" He choked a second time.

Tell them what? Tell them that he hadn't protected his wife or their daughter? That some maniac who was after him was responsible for all the panic and upset they'd had to endure these last few weeks? That it was his fault Mia had been kidnapped and drugged and…possibly…He bit down so hard on his lip he drew blood and pulled his sister tighter to him.

Mia's arms had slid around his waist, her head lay against his chest and he could tell by her breathing that she still wasn't feeling quite right. "Knew you'd…come," she whimpered. "Not…let me…Ana…love Ana…love Christy."

Christian blinked at the tears that pricked his eyes again and cursed them back, even as he gently kissed Mia's hair. "Ssshh, baby. You'll feel better soon, I promise."

"Hurt…he's bad…a bad…man…"

"I know, baby, I know." He gently rocked her as his eyes fell on Anastasia's still form and he felt tears threaten once again.

It seemed to take forever for the ambulance to drive the few miles to the hospital, and finally Anastasia was wheeled into emergency and Mia was taken into an examination room. No amount of arguing or threats could get Christian through to the surgery, so instead, he was left to pace the hallway and main waiting room, berating himself, berating the bank manager, berating the doctors and Sawyer and anyone else he could possibly find fault with.

Taylor remained stoically positioned by the exit, one eye on his employer, the other on the doors to emergency. His cell vibrated and he quickly answered Sawyer's call. "No. Tell them to bring him in the other way. I don't care. If they bring Hyde through here Mr. Grey will probably kill him." He paused as he listened to Sawyer. "Fuck! Give me five minutes!" He growled quietly, ended the call and watched Christian Grey continue to pace and thrust his hands through his hair.

He stepped up to the harried looking nurse and offered his best smile. "I know you've got your hands full, but I need a private waiting room for Mr. Grey and his family."

She glanced at him for all of three seconds before turning back to her computer. "Unfortunately all the private rooms are currently occupied. He will have to…"

Okay, screw charm. "Listen to me very carefully. That man in the dark suit currently pacing your over crowded waiting room is Christian Grey and his wife was just brought in with multiple injuries."

The woman's eyes widened and she finally focused her attention on the gorgeous, agitated man in the three piece suit. "_The _Christian Grey?" she whispered.

"The very same."

"I'd like to help, but honestly all our private waiting rooms are in use and…"

"The Grey's are the main contributor to this hospital. I suggest you find me a room in the next thirty seconds or you'll be looking for a new job by the end of the week, when this hospital closes down."

"You…are you threatening…"

"You now have fifteen seconds."

She quickly grabbed up the phone. "Celia, are the Anderson's still in 23? Move them to the lounge, I'm sending up a VIP. Just do it!" She looked at Taylor. "Go through those doors and follow the orange line to the end. The waiting room is on the left.

Taylor nodded and walked over to his employer. "I've secured a room for you to wait in, Sir."

Christian looked at him, dazed. "What?"

"I have somewhere you can wait privately."

Still Christian hesitated, not noticing the way Taylor's eyes kept moving towards the emergency doors. "Mom…and Dad…Mia…"

"I'll make sure they can find us, and Mia is with the doctor." The pulse in his jaw jumped as he saw the lights of the ambulance pull up out front. "We should go before we lose the room."

Christian nodded compliantly and followed. He felt disconnected from everything; even his breathing didn't feel connected. He knew that air was going in and out of his lungs, he could hear it, feel it, but it didn't feel like they were his lungs. He knew he was walking, walking beside Taylor and his brain gave the order for his legs to move, but he felt disjointed.

They stepped through a set of swinging doors as Taylor glanced behind them in time to see a gurney with Jack Hyde wheeled through the emergency doors, with Sawyer two police officers and the paramedics. He met Sawyer's grim look, briefly, before the swinging doors closed.

They entered the assigned room and Christian dropped onto a stylish leather sofa the moment they were inside, suddenly exhausted and so overcome with fear and grief that he started shaking. "Did you call my parents?"

"Yes, sir. They're on the way."

"Where's Mia?"

"She's being examined, sir. She's fine. I have Welch with her."

"She…she can't die, Jason."

"She was just drugged, Sir. I'm sure…" He paused and studied the anguished look on Christian Grey's face and realized he wasn't speaking of his sister. "She won't." He shook his head. "She's stronger than all of us."

He suddenly remembered the baby and shot to his feet. Possible broken ribs, that meant the fucker kicked her. If he kicked her…Did that mean the baby was…? "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

He stormed out of the room, followed closely by Taylor. He had to find Ana, he had to know what was going on. What if she woke up and he wasn't there? What if she died while they were examining her? What if the baby had been killed and was lying, dead inside her, what if she was awake and they were telling her that, without him there to hold and protect her?

He caught the arm of a young intern that was walking down the corridor the opposite way. "Where's my wife?" he demanded. "Anastasia Grey, where is she?"

The woman's eyes widened. "I…I don't know, sir, I…"

"I want to know where my wife is. Now, God damn it!"

"I…you'd have to check with the nurse, sir, I…"

"Find the nurse then God damn you!" He released her and the woman hurried back down the corridor, but Christian couldn't wait. He started walking the corridor, calling Anastasia's name and looking into the rooms as he passed. "Ana! Anastasia!"

A nurse in pink and white scrubs rushed down the hall with a balding security guard right behind her. "Mr. Grey!" she called and skidded to a halt at the look Christian gave her. "You're wife isn't in here, Mr. Grey, and you can't be screaming the halls down. You're disturbing the other patients…"  
Christian came to a stop inches away from her. "I could give a fuck about them. I want to see my wife. Now!"

"If you'd like to wait…"

"I'm done waiting. You tell me where my wife is or I'll scream this God damn hospital down!"

The security officer stepped forward only to be stopped by Taylor. "I wouldn't," he warned and pulled back his jacket to show his own weapon. "You're not as fast as I am."

The guard pulled his hand away from his weapon and the restraints that dangled at his hip, he didn't get paid enough for this shit.

"What the hell is going on here?" A tall, dark haired man, with a Distinct British accent and wearing a long white coat demanded as he entered from the outside doors. "This is a hospital not a bloody rock concert!"

"I…I'm sorry Dr. Bailey," the nurse offered. "He…"

Dr. Bailey's eyes settled on Christian. "Grey." He scowled as he took in the harried nurse and security guard. "Not even you have the right to disturb the sick, Grey, so I suggest you lower your voice and tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I want to see my wife," Christian growled, he knew the doctor was a colleague of his mother's, had known him for years and had mixed feelings about him. "I need to see her."

"Well then stop scaring the buggering hell out of everyone and come with me." Christian and Taylor followed him back towards the doors where he had entered and watched him stop at the desk just before it, where a clerk was busily typing away. "Who is examining Mrs. Grey?" he asked.

"What's her first name?"

"Anastasia," Christian snarled.

"Anastasia Grey?" The clerk typed in the information. "Dr. Bowers was assigned to her. He's just released her from emergency and she's been sent to X-ray."

"Do they have a room prepared for her yet?"

"They're clearing room 403 now, doctor."

Dr. Bailey nodded and turned to Christian. "You can't be with her in X-ray," he said and watched Christian's hands fist and his face darken. "You can't and that's that, but I can take you to her room and she'll be there shortly. You have to let us do our jobs. She's in the best of hands, here, Grey."

Christian nodded, curtly and followed. What if she lost the baby? She would blame him, and she would be right to. He never should have exploded like he did. He never should have let his control slip, but what the fuck was she thinking getting pregnant? He couldn't be a father. She had to know that he was not father material.

He moaned and squeezed his fists again. Just because he was afraid of being a father didn't mean he didn't want the baby. He would never want the baby harmed. It was part of Anastasia, part of them both. It was innocent and clean and…Jesus God what if it was dead? Anastasia would never forgive him. She'd leave him for real and he'd be helpless to stop her.

Fuck! What was she thinking running to Hyde like that? She was pregnant! She had a responsibility! What kind of mother…He gripped the rail of the elevator as they stepped inside and stared at his reflection in the mirrored panel As Hyde's words came back to him.

_**What's the matter Grey? I hear she likes it rough**_.

He closed his eyes against it, but the guilt speared through him regardless. What had he done? What had he done by bringing Anastasia into his world? He was no better than that bastard Hyde. He'd wanted to hurt Anastasia too, but not like that. Never like that. Did making it about sex change the fact that he had been rough with her, needed to be rough? He'd brought her to tears the very first time he spanked her. How was he any better that Hyde?

He should have left her alone. He should have…"

"Mr. Grey?"

Christian blinked and tried to focus on Taylor's reflection in the mirror. He noticed the elevator doors were now open and Dr. Bailey and Taylor were watching him concerned. He hated the sympathy in Bailey's eyes, he hated that the other man viewed him as weak. Fuck you Bailey. Fuck all of you! I'm Christian Grey. I don't do weak, you fucking maggots. I make people like you weak, that's what I fucking do.

He straightened and reigned in all the control he could muster. Spinning on his heel he stormed out of the elevator and followed Bailey to a private hospital room.

When they entered the room he had regained complete control of himself and managed to push away, at least for the moment, every shred of the emotions that threatened to tear him apart. He scowled at the stark and sterile room. They wanted to put his wife in here? His Ana? This simply would not do. This he could control. This he could do something about.

"I want flowers, lots of them," he told Taylor stalking about the room and grimacing at the single hospital bed. "And sheets, get some proper sheets for her and a good heavy blanket, she'll be cold." He touched the pillow and tossed it to the floor "I want two down pillows in here; she's not laying on that shit." He walked over to the window and looked out, wasn't much of a view, but he could do little about that. He went into the washroom and scowled. "We need towels, and a toothbrush." He frowned at the sterile soap dispenser. "And some real fucking hand soap, the lavender one she likes in the blue bottle."

Taylor was already on the phone placing the order as his employer continued to stalk around the room, relived to have something useful to do and to see his boss back to normal again.


	2. Chapter 2

Characters belong to E.L. James-

Thanks to everyone who reviews, I am stunned by the response I received with the first chapter. I really hope you enjoy this next one as much, I am not to sure on it myself, but it was where the muses took me.

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**CHAPTER 2**

Christian sat beside Anastasia, holding her hand and silently pleading for her to wake up. An intern had brought her up just a few minutes before, but the Doctor's were still waiting on the test results. Taylor stood by the door, he had offered to be outside but Christian asked him to remain in the room. He didn't want to be alone with Anastasia, now wasn't that a kicker?

He was still so very angry. With her, with Hyde, with himself, with everyone. He was afraid what control he had managed to retain would snap and he would trash the room with Anastasia inside. That she would wake to the sight of him in a rage and be frightened. He didn't want her to fear him. He had never wanted her to fear him.

He wanted to hurt her, he could admit that. He honestly wanted to knock the living shit out of her for not coming to him about Hyde, for putting him through the hell of thinking she was leaving him, for forgetting her fucking shot and getting fucking pregnant! He wanted to cause her pain, because she had caused him pain, so much fucking pain and distress and loss of control, and yet, as he stared at the bruises on her face and then over the multiple machines hooked up to her, he knew he could never hurt her like that. Jesus it was all so fucked up! _He_ was so fucked up.

He didn't know how to deal with these feelings. Hitting something or someone was the way he always dealt with unpleasant emotions, and then he would fuck until he or she were exhausted. His usual solution wasn't going to help him here, and the sight of the battered woman lying on the bed next to him was tearing him to pieces, strip by miserable strip.

Elena had taught him what he needed to get through these…these dark thoughts and intense emotions so that he could come out the other side, but here, now, he had no release. He had no way to fight for control, he had no submissive to take it out on. He couldn't get the shit kicked out of him by Claude. Jesus, he didn't even have a fucking piano. How the hell did people deal with this…this rollercoaster shit all the time?

He was desperate for Anastasia to wake up, but he was also terrified of it. What if she woke, saw him there, and spit in his face? She might tell him to get out, tell him she hated him. After all, he hadn't protected her like he promised had he? He hadn't stopped Hyde from getting to her, from hurting her and putting her and their baby in danger.

And he'd hurt her by not reacting well about the baby. Jesus, what if she lost the baby? She'd hate him. She'd fucking hate the sight of him. She never should have gone. She should have stayed at home! She should have protected herself and the baby. She should have fucking called him and let him deal with Hyde! She should have trusted him to keep her safe.

He moaned as his emotions took yet another turn. How could she trust him? He'd yelled at her? He'd gone out and gotten drunk instead of staying to talk to her. He knew she was upset when she wouldn't talk to him the next day but he was angry. He was so insanely furious. She had one fucking responsibility. One! And she couldn't remember to get her fucking shot! She put them in a position neither of them were ready for and he didn't know if he could forgive her for that.

Then, she had had the nerve to get pissy about Elena. Her fucking grudge against a woman that had been his friend for years was a constant source of confusion and irritation for him. Instead of talking to him about it, Anastasia had hidden herself somewhere in the apartment, like a fucking child afraid to be disciplined. How juvenile was that? How petty? He'd almost lost his mind when he couldn't find her the next morning, and then she just appeared as if nothing had happened. She wouldn't talk to him, not directly anyway, not without her words dripping with hurt and venom. God, it almost tore out his heart when she refused to let him touch her. What is she was still angry? What if she woke up and still wouldn't talk to him, or let him touch her. What if she fucking hated him?

He glanced at his head of security for a long moment, then returned his attention to Anastasia. She wouldn't cause a scene if Taylor was in the room. No matter what had happened, she wouldn't yell and scream at him if there was a witness. She respected Taylor, liked him, and despite her childish behavior earlier, she had better manners than to kick at him in front of his employees.

Fuck it. He _was_ a coward for not wanting to be alone with her.

"What was she thinking?" Christian thrust his free hand through his hair again. "What could she possibly have been thinking?"

Taylor knew when a question was directed at him. "We won't know that until she wakes up, sir."

"I thought she was leaving me. She told me she was leaving me and I believed her." Christian shook his head at his own inadequacies. "She told me she'd never leave me. Why didn't I believe her, Jason? Why can't I believe her when she tells me…tells me…" He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears threaten him yet again. No. No he would not cry again. Crying was for the weak and he was not weak. He was strong! He was in control! God damn it! Why couldn't he remain in control?

How terrified Anastasia must have been to do this on her own. How hurt she must have been by his words, by his dismissal of her at the bank. How stupid he was not to know that something was wrong. She had been upset, he could hear that she had been upset and he was too caught up in his own misery to pay attention. Not until they'd learned Hyde was out, not until he had a reason to think she was in danger, did he bother to consider anything but the worst; that she was leaving and wanted nothing to do with him.

"The bad stuff is always easier to believe," Taylor commented quietly and his heart went out to his friend and employer.

Christian Grey was a control freak, a dismissive ass at times and an anal son of a bitch, but he was a good man. Behind all of that, behind the control and the fully equipped playroom and the arrogance, Christian Grey was a man to be admired. Not for his business sense and love of the environment, but because he gave so much of himself to making the world better and helping those who really needed help, and he took absolutely no credit for it. Taylor couldn't think of working for anyone but Christian Grey.

"She never listens," Christian moaned, miserably as he caressed and kissed Anastasia's hand. "But then…I guess I don't either." If he had listened, truly listened he would have known something wasn't right.

"You're both two peas in a pod, Sir." Taylor realized truer words were never spoken. Despite their obvious differences, their instinct to clash and that they both came from two totally different worlds, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey were significantly alike and truly made for each other.

Christian smirked but it faded almost immediately as he rose to caress his wife's bruised cheek. "Fuck! Why won't she wake up?"

"She's had a hard day, she must be tired," Taylor reasoned, although his concern was just as great.

When he had been active in the military there were far too many times that a friend, a fellow soldier or even an enemy died from a head injury. They didn't know what Hyde had done to Mrs. Grey. She could have internal bleeding, she could…He felt his anger and sorrow boil and pushed it back to a simmer. That kind of thinking wouldn't help the current situation.

"Sawyer shouldn't have let her get away."

"No sir."

"He's fired."

"Yes, sir," Taylor replied, knowing that his boss wasn't thinking clearly at the moment, and was blowing off steam.

Christian stared down at his wife and wondered what was happening with her? Could she hear them? Was she trying to wake up and couldn't or was she so upset, so scared and angry that she didn't want to wake up? What if he lost her? What if Hyde had injured her so badly she…What if she had internal bleeding? What if she was dying, right this minute and all he could do was sit there and watch? Why hadn't they told him anything yet?

Taylor tensed as the door open and Grace, Carrick and Elliot walked in.

"Christian!"

Christian straightened and focused at his mother tone. This brave, strong, caring woman that had taken him from the hell in which he had lived and raised her as his own. And he had betrayed her trust by sleeping with her best friend and not telling her. Was she still angry about Elena? Would she ever stop being disappointed that he had hidden in from her, or that he still hid so many things from her?

"Do…" You forgive me yet, he finished silently and felt himself start to shake at the idea that she might say no. Pull it back. Pull it back you stupid fucker. Don't let them see your pain. "Have you…seen Mia?"

"She's a little groggy still, but she'll be fine." Carrick nodded grimly. "We spoke with the police, apparently some woman helped Hyde kidnap her from her gym." He shook his head again. "We didn't even know she was missing."

"We didn't know because she was stupid and slipped her guard again," Elliot growled. "She should be grounded for life!"

Carrick squeezed his oldest son's shoulder, unaware of the haunted look of envy that Christian shot them. "She's young and headstrong, but I'm pretty sure this has taught her a lesson she won't soon forget."

Christian's hands fisted at his sides as he lowered his eyes, unable to meet his mother's intent gaze anymore or the affection between his brother and father. He focused on Anastasia again. He'd failed her, failed his family. He hadn't protected his wife the way a husband is sworn to protect. He hadn't protected Mia the way a big brother was…He swallowed hard as he remembered what the paramedic had warned him of. "Did…was she…" He couldn't even say the words. If he said the words he would lose it entirely.

Thankfully, Carrick knew what he was asking. "She wasn't assaulted."

"She fucking well could have been," Elliot snapped, his anger and distress obvious. "If she wasn't so stupid and reckless…"

"She's fine." Carrick said again, firmer now in a tone they all knew well. "And watch your language around your mother."

"Sorry." Elliot crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Grace. "I'm just…"

Grace nodded in forgiveness and looked back at her younger son, who was still refusing to meet her gaze. She could see the trauma he was suffering, the bleakness in his eyes before he had looked away and the slump of his shoulders. He was hurting. He was hurting so badly and he was trying to hide it from them. He was always trying to hide it and she was, quite frankly, fed up with his nonsense.

"How is Ana?" Carrick asked.

Christian just shook his head and dropped back in his chair again to take his wife's limp hand.

"The doctor's haven't told us anything yet."

Grace focused on the sight of Anastasia in the bed, battered and unconscious and felt a painful twist in her gut. That dear, precious young woman was lying there, because she had been trying to save Mia, trying to do what was right for a family she had barely known a month and that made the pain of the day's events hurt even worse.

And there was her son. Her stubborn, stoic, control freak of a son who looked as if he was about to shatter into a million pieces. "Cary, go find someone for us to talk to," she requested quietly. "I'd like a moment alone with our son."

Christian's eyes widened slightly in panic as Carrick nodded and touched Elliot's arm. They turned to leave and Grace glanced at Taylor.

"You too, please."

Taylor shifted on his feet and kept his eyes on Christian. With only the slightest of nods and a tightening of his lip, Christian gave him the go ahead. "I'll be just outside," he promised quietly.

Christian turned his gaze back Anastasia. He couldn't talk to Grace. After everything that had happened recently, with Elena and the helicopter crash and now this. He was afraid of her anger, of her disappointment. He didn't deserve her love or her comfort, either. Anything he said, anything he offered her would lead to one or the other and he just couldn't face that right now. Not right now, on top of everything else.

"Christian."

"Yes?" he muttered.

"Look at me please."

He refused and instead took Anastasia's hand in his again.

"Christian!"

Grace's tone caused Christians head to snap up.

She gasped at the utter desolation in his eyes and stepped forward. "Oh, my poor darling." She wasn't prepared for what happened next, and she didn't think Christian was either, but he suddenly rose and threw himself into her arms. She felt him tense, heard his breath come out in several quick, short pants and then, miraculously, his arms folded around her. When he leaned into her, tears flooded her eyes.

She'd dreamed of this moment for twenty-four years, fantasized and prayed for it, and now he was, her son, standing with his arms locked around her in the way all sons should be able to hold their mothers. God he was strong! He was holding her so tightly she could barely breathe, but none of that mattered. He needed her. Finally, her son needed her and was letting her comfort him.

"Oh, Christian," she whispered and bit her trembling lip as she attempted not to cry. He didn't need her tears; he needed her strength, her love.

"Mom!" he croaked and was lost, lost in the feel of his mother's arms around him, even though he was a good head and shoulders taller than she. God how he had wanted this, craved this, but could never allow it before…before Anastasia had freed him. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Hush, sweetheart." Her arms trembled with both shock and longing as she slid them around her son, a single tear escaped down her cheek as he drove his fingers into her hair, locked on and sobbed against her. "We've all made mistakes, but we're family and family always forgives."

She wet her lips and closed her eyes tightly as she offered a quiet prayer of gratitude to whatever God might be listening. She was holding her son! She was holding her son and he was letting her. Dear God, how long she had waited for this, but it pained her to realize the cost from which it had come.

"Mommy's here, my baby." She tentatively put her head against his chest, felt him tense for the briefest of seconds, and then he was lowering his chin to her hair and sliding one of his arms all the way around her. His heart was thundering in his chest and she wondered if it was from his distress over Ana or the terror of being touched. "Mommy's got you."

Grace was appalled when Christian started to sob. She had never seen him cry. How sad was it when a mother had never seen her own son cry? The sight and sound of it damn near tore her to pieces. "Talk to me, please, darling. Let me help you."

"He hurt her. He hurt Ana. She won't wake up. Why won't she wake up? They aren't telling us anything and…"

"She will darling," Grace soothed as she pulled back just enough to cradle his face between her hands and tenderly kissed his wet cheeks. "She's such a brave, strong girl. This won't keep her down. You'll see. And she'll want to wake up and see you, right?"

"No." Christian shook his head, stark fear instantly cleared his thoughts for the briefest of moments and he could feel the panic rising inside of him. He tried to push it back because he needed someone to touch him, hold him, just once. Ana couldn't do it, she couldn't hold him, but Grace could. Part of him was actually surprised she was even willing after all the years of no contact he had forced upon her. And yet, he still felt himself pull away from her.

Don't pull away now! Grace wanted to cry. Don't hide behind that damn control! She wanted to protest his withdrawal, she wanted to grip him tighter and hold him to her, but she knew that such a reaction would only push him further away. "What do you mean no?"

Christian gripped the back of the chair he had just vacated until his knuckles were white. "Ana...she...she's here because of me."

"What?" Grace demanded and then realized what he meant. "Darling! This wasn't your fault!"

How could she say that? He'd let his sister get kidnapped, he'd treated his wife horrifically and in response she'd been too afraid or too angry to tell him about Hyde, to trust him to keep her safe. And Grace, he had lied to his mother, betrayed her. He had hurt her so much with the situation over Elena. How could she possibly say this wasn't his fault? This was all his fault!

"She didn't tell me!" he cried suddenly as his subconscious screamed inside his head; accused him of running away when he should have stayed and talked to Anastasia and causing her to feel couldn't talk to him, couldn't trust him. "I didn't do it right. I didn't treat her... right and she didn't trust me with this, with the threat from Hyde." Instead, she ran head long into danger than trust him with keeping her safe.

"I'm sure that wasn't it at all, darling!"

"She hates me. She should hate me. I'm a monster."

"You are no such thing! Why would you even think something like that?"

"You don't know," he muttered and lowered his eyes to Anastasia again. She didn't know the darkness inside him and he could never tell her. "You don't understand."

"I understand that you seem bent on blaming yourself for everything bad that happens, Christian, and it has to stop. You cannot control everything and you have to stop trying to."

He shook his head and bit his lip as his fingers dug into the hard leather of the chair back.

Grace coiled her fingers into a fist of frustration, and then slowly released them. "Darling, where is all this coming from? You are far too hard on yourself, you always have been." She stepped forward so she was in his line of sight. "Really, Christian, do you think I would allow myself to be the mother of a monster?"

He glanced at her, startled. "It...no...it's..." Grace was goodness and light, like Ana. She had taken him from hell and put him in a better place because she was kind and generous and giving. "She doesn't want to see me." He stalked over to the window and stared out. "She doesn't want to talk to me."

"Why wouldn't she, darling?"

"Because…" His hands fisted as he fought for control. "We…we weren't talking."

"What did you mean you weren't talking?" Grace demanded. "What did you do?"

"Mom…"

"Christian! What did you do?"

"I was so angry," he sobbed brokenly, then pushed away from the window and started to pace. He couldn't stand still, when he stood still everything hit him at once. There was no escape, no where to run. No where to hide. He had to get out of here. He had to leave before he said something he'd regret. Before his mother found out what a monster he truly was.

He started for the door, startled when Grace reached it first and slapped her hand against it.

"Hey!" she snapped, angrily, surprising even herself. Suddenly, all the times she'd been reluctant to pry into his life, been compliant with his moody, anti-social behavior or refused to push at him when she knew he was in distress came back to haunt her.

All she had ever wanted for Christian was a happy, loving childhood and a good, successful adulthood. A life away from all the torment and heartache he had already suffered, and because he had suffered she was more willing to excuse the fighting and the bad behavior. She had been more accepting of his need to be separate from them, to keep himself and his life private, because she hadn't wanted to cause him more grief.

However, her wretched, blinded compliance allowed her son to be abused by a woman she had trusted. No, she wouldn't comply anymore. She would make him talk to her, no matter what the cost.

"You can't run away from this, Christian. Your new wife is in the hospital and you said you weren't speaking; now I want to know why?"

He stared at her, appalled, and was reminded of her anger over Elena. She rarely trespassed into his life, rarely got involved or pushed for more than he was willing to give, and he'd liked it that way. He'd needed it to be that way. Had the mess with Elena changed Grace's feelings for him? Had he finally succeeded in making her hate him, so that she didn't care if she hurt him?

He ran his hands through his hair, caught between outrage and dread. He was Christian Grey, billionaire CEO and pilot. He beat little brown haired girls into submission and then fucked them senseless. He made entire cooperation's quiver in fear at the mere mention of his name and hired and fired people at will. He always got what he wanted, always demanded and received the best there was of everything and no one dared to contradict him.

Except Grace. Grace who he adored and had so much respect for could slap him into submission without even raising her hand. Fuck! He felt like he was fucking thirteen again and being hauled into his father's office after a fight. He didn't want to disappoint her. He never wanted to disappoint her, but he knew she was going to be so very angry "You'll hate me."

She sighed. "I could never hate you, darling."

"I reacted...badly to something she told me and…"

"Damn it, Christian. You and that temper of yours…."

"I know…"

"What did you argue about? Tell me."

"I…She…" Jesus Christ!

His mother and father had already expressed concern over how fast he and Ana had gotten married. They would freak if they found out she was pregnant! Fuck! Everything was slipping away. All his control, all his secrets and he would have nothing left. Nothing left to keep the darkness at bay, nothing to keep up the illusion that he was a good son, a good Grey, a decent human bean, and then they would see, they would all see him for the sick, sadistic fuck that he was and would hate and despise him and he would be nothing again. He would be that child huddled in the closet, ignored by the crack whore, abused by her pimp and no one would know him. No one would see him. No one would care. He would be invisible again, and hungry and cold...

"Christian?" Grace started to reach out for her son as the color drained from his face and his entire body started to vibrate. "Darling? Are you all right?"

Christian forced himself to look past his mother to Anastasia, laying so cold and still on the bed, dying or not dying, wanting to come back and not wanting to come back. Was there a baby still? Was there an Ana? No. he couldn't think like that. He couldn't lose her. He would die without her. he would die! She had to be okay, and if she was okay she would need him to be strong. He couldn't let himself become invisible, he couldn't let himself be drawn down that horrible path to hell again. She needed him. he had to believe that she needed him, that their...baby needed him.

Slowly, oh so slowly he managed to pull back from the brink, managed to purge the rising darkness, for a few moments anyway, and find his way back to the light. the light of his mother, who was watching him with such concern, such devotion...His breath hitched. Such love. She deserved to know. She deserved to know the kind of bastard he was. She shouldn't love him. She shouldn't!

Suddenly, the words flowed from him, faster than he intended and he stumbled, he stumbled badly, because he was trying to call them back, trying to stop the flow of truth. "I…I just…I was scared…and angry, and then she…she got angry and…she…she wouldn't tell me where she went and…"

Grace was shocked at Christian's stammering. He never stammered, not even when after he started talking finally when he was younger. "Why were you angry, Christian?"

"It's just…it was too much. She only had to remember one fucking thing and…"

"Christian!"

"I'm sorry!" He glanced at her apologetically as he began to pace again, needing the distance, afraid, so very afraid that he would break down again and throw himself at her. "Ana said she…she…" He growled and fisted his hair again, distraught that his mother was seeing him this way. "She…Ana's…p…pregnant."

Grace felt a multitude of emotions at that moment. Pride. Worry. Joy. Fear. Regret. Shock and a flood of happiness as well. She wasn't sure which one was the most prominent, but she could only imagine if she felt all that at the news, what her son had gone through. "I take it you didn't handle the news well?"

"I yelled at her! Screamed and…and said…horrible things, and then I left. I left her there, alone and hurt and angry and I didn't care. I didn't care because I was so fucking angry with her."

Grace tread carefully here. "So, Ana was angry because you yelled at her and walked out?"

"Yes. No. I don't know!" He dropped down in the chair again. "I…I don't remember if she was angry when I got home." He didn't remember getting home, he only remembered not being able to find Ana the next morning, and then that horrid, snarky text she had sent him. "She…I think she was more upset about Elena."

"Elena?" Grace straightened and gripped the end of Ana's hospital bed until her knuckles turned white. "You went to see Elena?"

"I...yes."

"You told me you'd cut all ties."

"I did!"

"Then why were you with her, Christian? Why did you leave your pregnant wife and go see that…that…." She pushed away from the bed and started to pace. Bitch. Child Molester. Slut. "That…woman?"

"I don't know," he muttered and could feel the anger and disappointment radiating off his mother. "I….I was angry and upset and…" His mother wouldn't understand. She couldn't understand what Elena had meant to him, how she had helped him. "I didn't know where else to go."

Grace felt her heart shatter at his words and all the anger fled her body. Did he truly think only that wretched woman cared for him? She pulled a second chair over by his, sat quietly and, after a moment's hesitation reached over and placed her hand over his. "You could have come to me, or your father, or Elliot. Christian, we're your family. Are you ever going to believe that we love you? That we want to help and support you?"

"I'm sorry," he offered and meant it. He didn't mean to hurt her, or any of his family. He just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that he was loved. Elena didn't love him, but she had supported him, helped him, and that had been enough. "I'm trying to…to believe it. To…" He shook his head again. "I'm so fu…screwed up, Mom."

She sighed and moved her hand up to his arm, waited and smiled when he didn't pull away. "We've all got things we have to deal with, darling, but it is so much easier if we let other people help us." She scooted closer still, caught his chin and lifted his gaze to hers. On impulse, she leaned in and touched her lips to his forehead. "Elena isn't the only one who cares about you, darling."

Christian was surprised by how much just a simple kiss pushed away all his remaining reservations and panic. He suddenly craved his mother's warmth, and quietly reached for her hand, tugged so she would stand, and then settled her in his lap. He slowly slid his arms around her and sighed as she pulled his head to her breast. God, it felt so good to be holding her, to be held by her. Ana had been right, he needed this.

"I know," he admitted softly as his gaze returned to Anastasia. "But seeing her finally put it all in perspective for me. You know….with the child. For the first time I felt…What we did…it was wrong."

"What she did, darling," Grace corrected firmly and then snuggled, almost gleefully into her son's arms. "Children will do that to you. Make you look at the world in a different light.

"She finally got the message…and so did I…I hurt Ana."

"We always hurt the ones we love, darling. You'll have to tell her you're sorry. And mean it, and give her time."

"She said she was leaving me."

"And you believed her?"

"At first, yes."

"Darling, you always believe the worst of everyone, including yourself. Ana loves you very much, and it's obvious you love her."

"She was mad at me."

"I'm sure she was. I'm pretty mad at you right now. I think you can only be truly mad at someone you really love."

"I thought about it," he admitted and realized it was the truth. "And she's shown me over and over how much she loves me….to the point of putting her own life in danger."

"Yes, she has, my darling."

"Oh, Mom." He squeezed Grace tighter. "Why won't she wake up? I nearly lost her."

"She will. You have to give her time. You need to not be so impatient with her all the time."

"I don't mean to be, I just…I want her to be safe and…and healthy and…"

"That's all any of us want for those we love, darling, but you can't push it on her. You can't control everything."

"I can." Most things, anyway, he thought determined.

Grace sighed. Some things never changed. She caught his chin again, pulled his gaze from Anastasia back to her. "Christian, I thought I could control everything too, when we first brought you home, but then I realized I was smothering you and I had to let you have some freedom." She scowled. "I let you have too much. If I had been a better mother, that woman would never have gotten her hands on you and…"

"Don't!" Christian put his fingers to her lips. "I…I don't want to talk about her, Mom. I don't want you blaming yourself either. I…I know you're angry that I didn't tell you, but please, please don't blame yourself. It was my choice…"

"You were fifteen! Hardly old enough to make a choice…"

"Mother, please!" Christian caught her head and pulled it towards his until their foreheads touched. It was such an intimate gesture and yet it felt…right between them. "Let it go. I am begging you."

Relieved that her son appeared to have regained some of his balance, she shrugged. "For now," she agreed and then linked her arms around his neck, she knew he didn't like to be touched around his chest, and briefly wondered what her husband would think if he walked in on them. "It's taken twenty-four years for you to let me hold you like this."

"I know, Mom." He squeezed her once quickly then offered her his best smile. "I'm glad we talked."

"Me too, darling. I'm always here." She giggled suddenly. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother!"


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: _Characters belong to E.L. James._

_Okay, so had a fifty shades moment and screwed up the time line a little on the second chapter. I realized when I went back to the book for a quote that the very last conversation Ana hears while she is unconscious is the one with Grace and Christian, but I put it first. I will claim poetic license, and the rest of the chapters will reflect that he spoke with Grace first. I think she should have been first anyway, because Christian would have been a mess when he got to the hospital._

_Anyway, thank you all so very much for all the fantastic reviews, and especially Romancefifty, Jasmine Garden, mrsdamon for teh lovely PM's of support! Also thanks to all of you who took the time to review and let me know you like the story. I hope you will continue to do so. More to come!_

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

Christian glanced up as a female doctor entered the room. He leapt from his chair beside the bed and turned to her. "How is she? Is she going to be okay? Why won't she wake up?"

"Mr. Grey, I'm Dr. Bartley and your wife should be fine."

"Should be?"

"Her ribs are bruised, Mr. Grey, and she has a hairline fracture to her skull, but her vital signs are stable and strong."

"Why is she still unconscious?"

"Mrs. Grey has had a major contusion to her head. But her brain activity is normal and she has no cerebral swelling. She'll wake when she's ready. Just give her some time."

Christian paled and forced himself to ask the question he was most afraid of. "And the baby?"

Dr. Bartley smiled. "The baby's fine, Mr. Grey."

Christian's legs almost gave out on him and he groped for the chair to keep himself from falling, the intensity of his relief almost caused his entire body to shut down. "Oh thank God." He leaned over Anastasia, and pressed his lips to her temple. She was going to be okay. The baby was going to be okay and he almost wept.

"Can she hear me?" he asked the doctor without looking away from his wife.

"It's hard to say. In some cases the patient can, and in others they can't. No one can tell with this type of injury, but we always encourage the family to talk to them." She smiled at him. "We like to assume that they can. If you need anything else, just have the nurse page me, all right?"

Christian managed to pull his gaze away from Anastasia to nod at the physician. "Thank you." Dr. Bartley nodded and stepped out as Christian's gaze settled on Taylor. "Jason, could you...?"

Taylor pulled open the door. "I'll make sure you're not disturbed, Sir."

Christian turned back to Anastasia, pulled his chair closer and settled into it, folding her hand in his again. "Ana? I…I don't know if you can hear me or not, but…I love you so much." His voice broke and it took him a moment before he could speak again. "I'm so, so sorry about everything. About yelling at you and…and not…" He took a deep breath again and fought for control. "Please, please don't leave me, Ana. I know I don't deserve you. I know you could do, so much better and that you deserve someone that isn't so fucked up, but I can't live without you and I'll do anything, anything you want if you'll just wake up and tell me you forgive me."

He gaze never left her face as he searched for some sign, some flicker of response.

"Please, baby." He caressed her cheek with his free hand. "Don't stay in there, come back to me. I'll be better. You make me better, please give me another chance." He bit his lip until he tasted blood. "Damn it Ana, wake up!" He winced at his own temper. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Don't be mad. Please, don't be mad. I hate it when you're mad at me."

He gently his head down on her stomach, comforted himself with the feeling of it rising and falling in a steady rhythm, and then he remembered the baby and pulled up abruptly. "Oh Fuck!" he whispered, appalled, afraid the pressure of his head might have some how damaged the baby. He started to reach out and touch her, found his hand started to shake and pulled it back.

A baby. There was a child inside of her, at this very moment, his child. The idea of it was…terrifying. How could he possibly be a father to a child? He had no experience, no idea what to do with a child and he knew that his personality was not suited to raising a child. He could only imagine what Flynn would have to say about it.

"Ana?" he asked softly. "I love you, Ana, and…and I love our…" he swallowed, hard. He didn't love the baby. He was terrified of the baby, terrified of what it meant for them. But, he hadn't wanted her to lose the baby either. It would have made things so much worse if she had lost the baby. She would have blamed him. He would have blamed him.

"Fuck!" He rose suddenly and drove his fingers through his hair. "I'm not father material. I don't know how to do this, what to do or say. I…How can I be anything, but a monster to a child?" A sweet, innocent child, something he had never been, never had the chance to be.

It was in the genes, wasn't it? What you did, who you were? What if the baby came out as screwed up as he was? What if he got angry with the child one day and hurt him or her? He didn't think he would, but when he was angry….He squeezed his eyes shut.

Anastasia had tested his control over and over, and many times he'd lost it all together. Because he needed her so much, cared for her so much and understood her so damn little. She cried at the drop of a hat, or got upset over inconsequential things, and then refused to tell him why she was upset. Like he was the Great Fucking Kreskin and could read her mind!

And always, always she was pushing him to talk about himself. He hated talking about himself! He did enough of that with Flynn and he didn't want to have to come home and do it again. All that shit, the crack whore, his family, fucking Elena, all of it was done and past but still she pressed him and he didn't understand why?

Would a child also have that kind of hold over him? Would a child, his child, their child be able to strip him of what little control he managed to hang on to once Anastasia was through with it? Would he go back to being the broody, out-of control brawler he was in his youth? Would their child ask him questions about his past, questions that he couldn't or wouldn't answer?

Fuck! What had she been thinking getting pregnant? He had been trying so hard to give her everything she wanted, be everything she needed him to be and still she kept asking for more. Now, he would be expected to share with a child as well, a pure and blameless child that should be shielded from the ugliness of his past, not dragged into it; not made a part of it.

Wouldn't it be better to have lost the baby? Yes, it would have devastated Anastasia, but…God! They barely knew each other! Despite his desire to get married and push for a commitment in the relationship, neither of them was ready for a child. He wanted Anastasia to himself.

He was still working on being the man she wanted, the man he thought she deserved. He wasn't ready to share her with a child, wasn't ready to refashion himself into a father figure, and she knew it. Fuck, he was having a hard enough time trying to be a good husband! She'd said that she would choose their child over him; but then she would have to, because there was absolutely nothing he could offer a child.

Her words had cut him to the quick that morning. He was stunned by her devotion to something that wasn't even fully developed yet, and that she was obviously not ready for. Her declaration in their bedroom that day proved that she would love the child more than she loved him and that alone incensed and horrified him. If he didn't have Anastasia's love he had nothing. She was the only one who could love him, if he lost that…

There was a knock on the door Christian turned as Taylor poked his head in. "Dr. Flynn would like to see you, Sir."

"Oh, fucking A, just what I fucking needed." Someone else to play around inside his head. Christian sighed and nodded as Taylor let the doctor inside. "Sorry, John, it's all full up in there, no more room."

Flynn smirked and tossed his coat over one of the chairs as Taylor quietly closed the door. "How is she, Christian?"

"The doctor's say she's fine. Well, not fine, but not serious." He shook his head. "She won't wake up."

"Give her time."

"Give her time," Christian muttered, crossing his arms over his chest a look of belligerence on his face. "That's all anyone tells me. Well time won't fucking tell me why she won't wake up, so what the hell should I need more time?"

"Why do _you_ think she's still asleep?" Flynn asked quietly as he settled in one of the chairs.

"Look, this isn't your fucking office and I am not doing this right now." Christian glared at him and rose, agitated. "Who called you? Dad? Mom?"

"No one called me, I heard about the incident on the news. I care about you, Christian, as I care about Anastasia. Of course I came."

"Great. Good. Why don't you tell me why she won't fucking wake up then, Mr. Psychobabble?"

"I'm more interested in your thoughts on that, and if your initial greeting is anything to consider, you must be having plenty of thoughts." Flynn offered him a small smile. "I know you aren't sharing them with anyone else, so why not with me? Help me earn my salary?"

"Your over-priced hack salary?"

"A fellow's got to eat."

"I should just fire you and put myself out of my misery."

Flynn grinned. Christian threatened to fire him at least once a session, and it was always a good sign he was about to open up. "Do you think Anastasia is hiding from you, Christian, and that is why she won't wake up?"

"I don't know. I don't know because none of these fucking doctors can tell me a God damned thing!"

"I didn't ask what you knew. I asked what you thought."

"Fuck off!" Christian turned his attention back to Anastasia, injured, silent, still. "What if she is? What if she won't wake up because she doesn't want to be with me anymore? What if she hates me?"

"Why would she hate you?"

"I didn't keep her safe."

"From what I hear that more her choice than yours."

"That isn't the point…"

"That's exactly the point. You can't protect her every minute of the day, unless you want to tie her to a bed and not let her see daylight."

Christian smirked. "That's a damn fine idea if you ask me."

"I don't think she'll care much for it."

That would depend entirely on what he was doing to her while she was tied to the bed, he thought wryly. He scowled again. "I was angry with her."

"You often are."

Christian's head spun around at Flynn, appalled. "I…I don't mean to be," he whispered.

"I know, and so does she. But regardless of your past behavior, Christian, she stayed; she married you."

"Why?" he croaked. As much as he loved Anastasia, as much as she made him happy, he still couldn't comprehend why she had said yes; why she had married him.

"She loves you."

Christian swallowed and turned back to look at his wife. Yes, and look what her love for him did to her.

"I'm sure she's forgiven you, Christian. Surely she is used to your moods now…"

"No. It's not the same."

"What's not the same?"

"She was really angry this time." Christian slumped back down in the chair by Ana's bed, dejected. "She had a right to be."

"Angry about what?"

"I…" He reached for her hand again, needing to touch her. "I was cruel, very cruel and I…I said awful things; accused her of awful things and then…" He shook his head as he remembered the horror in Anastasia's eyes, the pain his words had caused, the tears. He had done that. He had hurt her, caused her to hurt.

"I see."

"We…we had such a bad argument and I walked out."

"That happens sometimes in a marriage."

"She's pregnant, John." Christian turned suddenly, his gaze burning into the psychiatrist. "She forgot her shot and now she's pregnant and I…I didn't handle it well when she told me."

"Ah."

"I lost my temper," Christian admitted. "What was she thinking, getting pregnant? I mean, my God, can you picture me as a father?"

"Yes." Flynn smiled again. "Rather vividly."

Christian's gaze turned stony. "That isn't fucking funny."

"You said you wanted to have children one day, Christian. We talked about it when you told me you'd asked Anastasia to marry you."

Christian flinched at the reminder. "Some day, not today, not for fucking years!" He shook his head. He had considered it, but it was so far in his future he hadn't put a lot of thought into his feelings on the matter, his true feelings. "This is all so…so new still, me and Ana, and now she…" He shook his head. "I'm scared, John."

"Why?"

"Why the fuck do you think? I can't be a father! I know nothing about being a father!"

"Most new parents don't. I can give you some books if you like, for you to study?"

"Are you fucking on crack?' Christian growled rising to his feet again. "Books? You think

books will keep me from passing on my fucked-upedness to a child? You think a book will tell me how to tell my child that his father's a sadist and the son of a crack whore?"

Flynn's smile faded. "Your fucked-upedness is not genetic, Christian, it is based on what happened to you during your formative years. And we've been over this, you are not a sadist."

"Just because the psychiatric community doesn't recognize the term anymore doesn't change what it is…"

"It does change what it is!" Flynn snapped. "You like rough sex, you like bondage and roll playing, so fucking what? It doesn't make you a sadist! You don't torture people for sexual gratification, Christian. You don't hurt them beyond what both parties deem acceptable and you don't kill to get off!" Flynn ran his hand through his hair, annoyed that Christian had, once again, managed to cut through his professional veneer, but then, the young man had a habit of doing that. He linked his fingers, laid them in his lap and crossed one leg over the other. "As to your birth mother, I don't see why that should even come into it until the child is older and better able to deal with such news. You might offer that she was a troubled young woman rather than…"

"A crack whore?" Christian smirked and shook his head as he started to pace. "The point is, I'm hardly father material…"

"Do you want the child?"

Christian spun around startled and his eyes narrowed, dangerously on Flynn. "What?"

"It's a simple question, Christian."

"Look! We're not talking about that. We're talking about Anastasia and why she won't wake up…"

"I don't know why she won't wake up and you were reluctant to offer your thoughts on it, so, so I veered off topic."

"I don't fucking know why!" Christian practically screamed at him, and caused Taylor to pop his head in the door. Christian had to use every trick he knew to pull back his rage and fear and raised his hand in apology. "Sorry," he offered his head of security. "It's fine. I'm fine, Taylor."

Taylor's eyes narrowed on Flynn, then finally he nodded and stepped back outside, closing the door once more.

Christian glared at Flynn who returned his vehemence with a deliberately serene look. "Fucking quack."

"Fucking prat." Flynn returned and watched Christian's quick responding grin. "What will you tell her when she wakes up?"

Christian looked at Anastasia again, finding hope in Flynn's term of 'when' rather than 'if." "That I love her. That I'll be anything she wants me to be, if she'll just stay with me."

'What if you already are everything she wants you to be?"

Christian turned away and stared out the window. "I'm not."

"Why?" Flynn rose and put his hand on Christian's shoulder, the only place he had ever touched his patient, other than a handshake, and even that had taken years to build enough trust for. "You've changed, Christian. You're not the man you were when we first met. You've matured and come to accept a great deal about yourself that you had been unwilling to accept before."

"It's not enough…"

"Will it ever be enough, Christian?"

Christian shrugged and continued to stare out the window.

"Anastasia chose you. She married you, now she doesn't strike me as a stupid or gullible woman…"

He turned then, finally. "She's not! She…I mean she is naive in some things, a lot of things, but she's not gullible! And she's so fucking smart, Flynn. Incredibly smart and generous and sensible…"

"Do you think she married you for your money? For fame?"

"No! Fuck! I can hardly give her a gift and she feels guilty about it. She doesn't care about the money and she hates being in the spotlight, but she lives with the security measures…" He grimly considered her escape from Sawyer. "Most of the time."

"So she isn't stupid, she didn't marry you for money or fame…Why then did she marry you?"

"Because I asked her to." He remembered how upset she had been after the helicopter crash, when she had thought he'd gone down with Charlie Tango, and he remembered the keychain he had been carrying in his pocket the whole time he was trying to get back home; a keychain that she gave to him before she spoke to Flynn. His eyes widened, for the first time in true realization. "Because she…she loves me."

"Yes she does. And you love her, as well."

"Yes." There was no hesitation in Christian's voice.

"And you will love this child, Christian, because it is part of Anastasia and part of you. A child that will be the very best part of the both of you and a celebration of your love."

Christian stumbled backwards against the window sill and struggled to remain upright as he felt the inexplicable relief and wonder that Flynn's words offered. "Yes," he whispered.

"It's okay to be scared, expected really as most parents are often terrified, but it's not because of your past, Christian." Flynn grinned. "It's because you're about to become a father." He picked up his coat and moved towards the door. "Give her my best when she wakes up, won't you?"

Christian nodded, numbly as the Englishman left. His gaze settled on Anastasia again and suddenly knew that he couldn't turn away from her or their child. The baby was part of her, part of his Ana and he loved everything about her; even though she drove him crazy. If she wanted the baby, he would do his best to be a father to it. If it meant keeping her with him, he would do anything she asked of him.

He settled on the chair again and this time put his hand on her stomach. "I'm here," he promised quietly. "For…both of you. I promise I'll stay right here. I'm no good at this, but I'll do my best. I promise." He glanced at Anastasia, then back at where the baby lay inside her. "You will have the best mother in the world, little one. I promise. No one will love you more…" He felt the twist of jealousy in his gut and pushed it back. "She'll always believe in you, no matter how many times you mess up and…and she'll always be there to hold you…"

He bit his lip as visions of his childhood started to intrude. "She won't ever hurt you. Your mother will be kind and sweet, and she'll never let you go cold or hungry. She'll never let anyone hurt you or neglect you." He felt a tear slide down his cheek and ignored it. "You will be loved and cherished and have everything you could ever want, I promise. Your mother will take such…such good care of you and…And I'll take good care of her so she can take care of you." He caressed Ana's flat stomach. "You're mine now. I'll protect you both. I promise."


	4. Chapter 4

Characters belong to E.L. James. Spoiler alerts for Fifty Shades Freed.

Thanks for all the great reviews so far, I am so glad that you're enjoying the story. In this installment, we deal with the conversation Ana over hears between Christian and Carrick and also the situation with Sawyer. Hope you enjoy and if so, please feel free to let me know!

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**CHAPTER 4**

Christian was back in the uncomfortable chair, seated beside Anastasia and reading to her from one of the books he had originally given her in a collection, as a graduation gift. The books were now in their library at Escala, as Anastasia had decided to keep them.

When he asked Taylor to fetch one for him, his head of security returned with two of the books, as well as a bowl of macaroni and cheese from Mrs. Jones. Christian was touched by her gesture, but for the first time since he could remember, he had no appetite, so the bag and bowl sat on the floor by the bed, untouched.

Carrick entered the hospital room quietly and frowned at the alarming sorrow his son appeared to be drenched in. Dark shadows dug a deep wedge beneath Christian's sad, grey eyes and the gravel of exhaustion Christian's voice as he read aloud against the stark silence of the room deeply concerned Carrick.

Grace had told him the news about the baby and while he wasn't thrilled about, he knew now was not the time to discuss it. He was rocked by the depth of emotion Christian had shown over Anastasia. He was then utterly staggered when his beautiful, complex and strong wife had broken down in his arms, just a few hours earlier, and openly cried at finally been allowed to hold their son.

Carrick's gaze fell on his new daughter-in-law, the woman who risked her own life to protect his daughter and the sister of her husband. He'd had reservations about Anastasia in the beginning and his guilt over that had been compounded after the events of this morning. He could see that she had been good for Christian, but the sensible part of him still worried about his son. As a lawyer he knew well enough that appearances could be, and often were, deceiving and when obscene amounts of money were involved one had to be careful. Money could corrupt even the most innocent of hearts.

Now, he knew that this woman who lay in the bed before him, hooked up to a bevy of machines would not, could not be corrupted and that she truly loved his son beyond anything any of them had ever envisioned. He fully intended to burn the pre-nup that he'd had drawn up, despite Christian's refusal to have Anastasia sign it, and he would spend a considerable amount of time making things up to his new daughter-in-law.

Carrick stepped up to Christian, wanted to touch him, but did not. Some habits were hard to break. "Why don't you take a break, son?"

"I'm not leaving her."

"Christian, you should sleep."

"No, Dad. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"I'll sit with her. It's the least I can do after she saved my daughter."

"How's Mia?"

"She's groggy….scared and angry. It'll be a few hours before the Rohynol is completely out of her system."

"Christ."

"I know. I'm feeling seven kinds of foolish for relenting on her security. You warned me, but Mia is stubborn. If it wasn't for Ana here…"

"We all thought Hyde was out of the picture. And my crazy, stupid wife…" Christian looked at his father, tormented and felt the bile rise in his throat at the idea of losing Anastasia. He would ask the question until he got an answer; he had to have an answer. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"Christian, calm down." Carrick insisted, startled to see tears glistening in Christian's eyes. "Ana's a remarkable young woman. She was incredibly brave."

"Brave and headstrong and stubborn and stupid…" Christian's voice broke again and he lowered his eyes.

"Hey. 'Grace had been right, Christian was changing and they would have to change with him. He would need them, all of them, finally. After a moment's hesitation, Carrick put his hand on Christian's shoulder, felt it tense beneath his touch, but his son did not pull away. "Don't be so hard on her, or yourself. Son…"

Carrick broke off, unsure what else to say. How could he comfort a man that had refused comfort for twenty-four years? He loved Christian, was proud of him and believed him to be a good man, but they'd never really had a proper father-son relationship.

"I'd better get back to your mom. It's after two in the morning, Christian. You really should try and get some sleep."

Carrick squeezed his son's shoulder and moved away.

"Dad?"

He turned back.

"Thanks…for being here."

The simple words almost rocked Carrick back on his heels and he felt his throat close up with emotions. "We're always here for you, son," he assured gruffly. "Always."

As his father stepped out of the room, Christian caught sight of Sawyer in the hospital corridor next to Taylor. What the fuck? "Taylor!"

Taylor nodded to Sawyer, then stepped inside and closed the door. "Yes, sir?"

"Why is Sawyer still here? I told you to fire him."

"I'm not happy with his performance either, but I think he should be given another chance…"

"I don't pay you to fucking think! I pay you to do as you're told."

"This wasn't Sawyer's fault, Mr. Grey."

"He let Ana get away from him. Put her in danger. He didn't do his job."

"He may have let his guard down around Mrs. Grey, but he was still doing his job…"

"His job was to protect her!"

"He can't be expected to protect her from herself!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that Mrs. Grey is a very inventive, very determined woman, and short of shooting her or hog-tying her, there was very little Luke could have done." Taylor grimaced. "Her background check came up clean, but quite frankly she has a talent for giving my men, highly trained ex-military men, the slip. If I didn't know better I'd suspect she was CIA."

Christian's smirk slipped out before he could contain it, but he quickly schooled his features again. "I want him gone."

"He saved your life."

"That's his job!"

"He saved you from going to prison for murder."

"What are you talking about?"

"You tried to shoot Hyde, Mr. Grey. If Luke hadn't been there, hadn't thrown your aim off, Hyde would be dead and you would be facing murder charges."

Christian paled. What was he talking about? He didn't shoot at anyone. He hated guns. Suddenly the memory of Sawyer reminding him of that fact hit him and he ran his hands through his hair. "I…" He shook his head. No. Sawyer failed to protect Anastasia. He couldn't trust him anymore. "I'm not going to debate this. Replace him, Taylor. That's an order."

"Then I'll arrange for two replacements, Sir."

"What?"

"If you can't trust me to know my own men, then you don't have any faith in me to do my job. You'll need to hire a new head of security."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" Christian growled.

"No, Sir. Just making you aware of a possible outcome to your request."

A surge of panic licked at Christian's insides, even as he tried to pull it back, because the little boy inside him still feared abandonment. He'd known Taylor for over four years! Trusted him, had even confided in him sometimes. Taylor understood him, understood his need for control and for things to run smoothly, and he was good, the best and what he did.

Christian's hands tightened on the book in his hand, as fear turned to rage. He chose when people left him, not the other way around. Taylor was a good man, and perhaps he had even started to think of his head of security as a friend, but the fact was Taylor was still a fucking employee! How dare Taylor give him an ultimatum! How fucking dare he!

He blamed Anastasia, blamed her for stripping him of his control, for showing defiance all the fucking time in front of others, so that now he had to deal insolence from his own fucking employees. "You don't want to work for me anymore." It was a statement, not a question, he would not beg Taylor to stay.

"That isn't the issue, Sir."

"Then enlighten me? What is the fucking issue?"

"You don't trust me to know what is best for you and Mrs. Grey."

Christian's head spun around to meet Taylor's quiet gaze. "Of course I do!"

"Then trust my judgment on Sawyer."

Christian turned his gaze to his wife, wishing like hell she would wake up and tell him what to do. She never wanted to listen, but at the same time she did listen, to what was important, and she often helped him see things…differently. "Anastasia likes you," he said and the words were like razor blades across his tongue, but he didn't know what else to say, what else he could use. He would not beg but nor could he condone such defiance.

"And I like her, Sir."

"And yet you'd leave her, when she's in this state, you'd just walk away from her?"

Taylor scowled, he didn't appreciate the guilt trip but he also understood the struggle that his friend and employer was going through. "It wouldn't be my choice, Chris."

Christian glanced at Taylor again and they held each other's gaze, neither blinking nor giving an inch but each aware of the trust and respect they both held for each other. Christian didn't want to lose Taylor and, he could see, that Taylor didn't really want to leave. "Why is it so important to you?"

Taylor sighed. "Luke fucked up, we agree on that, but he's also beside himself with guilt over what happened to Mrs. Grey. To me, a man who has witnessed what can happen when he fucks up will be ten times less likely to ever let it happen again. I don't think there is another person on this planet right now that would be better at keeping Mrs. Grey safe, than him. Not now. Not after all of this."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Then I'll resign for real, because I didn't do my job and don't deserve to work for you."

Christian released a heavy breath as he considered the older man's words. He didn't trust Sawyer anymore, he was pissed that the security agent had let Anastasia get away, twice! How could Taylor expect him to put his faith in a man that had failed so drastically?

If he lost Taylor, he would lose Gail, and he didn't want that, couldn't accept that. They were both fully aware of his...habits and less than stellar behavior, and yet they stayed. He depended on them. He…he needed them.

"Fine." Christian ran his hand through his hair, agitated. "But I swear to Christ, if he fucks up again, getting fired will be the absolute least of his worries. Do I make myself clear?"

"Chrystal clear, Sir."

Christian nodded and then, just as Taylor opened the door to leave he said. "I trust you, Jason. Don't make me regret that trust."

"I'll do my best not to, Sir." Taylor replied and meant it. He paused as he opened the door. "Sir, Lu…Sawyer wanted to get Mrs. Grey some flowers…I told him I would ask if you would allow it."

Christian gritted his teeth at the idea of any other man buying anything for Anastasia, especially Sawyer given the situation, but as he held Taylor's gaze he realized he would have to succumb. "Fuck! Are you going to ask me for a fucking raise too while you're drawing my fucking blood?"

Taylor almost smiled, but quickly caught it. "We all know you bleed gold, Sir, so the blood would be more than enough for me to get by on."

Christian actually chuckled, before he could help himself. He sighed heavily. "Whatever, but I don't want him in here." He was liable to rip the other man's throat out if he saw him again; at least the way he was feeling now.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Notes: Characters belong to E.L. James. Spoilers for Fifty Shades Freed._

_All I can say is WOW! Thank you all so much for the fantastic and thoughtful reviews! I am so appreciative of them, really, especially considering I had only meant to write the one blurb of Lost without Ana. Thank you for your kind words and wonderful encouragement. I hope this chapter does not disappoint. Another shout out to Jasmine Garden for lovely detailed discussions on where else I can take this story! Cheers!_

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**CHAPTER 5**

Christian was startled from his vigil of Anastasia by the sound of yelling outside the hospital room door. He rose, winced because he had been sitting too long and strode across the room to see what the commotion was about.

"I don't give a rat's shit in heaven what Mr. Grey ordered," a very angry Kate screamed at Welch as he stood outside the door, baring her path. "That is my friend in there!"

"For Christ's sake, lower your voice!" Christian hissed at her. "You're in a hospital not a fucking rock concert."

Kate took a step towards Christian only to be blocked again by Welch. "Tell your dog to heel, Grey, or this place is about to become freaking Woodstock!" she snapped. "I am coming in to see Anastasia and neither of you are going to stop me,"

"No one is stopping you." Christian nodded at Welch who begrudgingly moved aside so that Kate could stride into the room.

"Sorry for the commotion, sir," he offered quietly. "She wouldn't take no for an answer."

"It's fine." Christian closed the door and barely resisted the urge to bang his head against it. He really wasn't up for a tirade of recriminations from the irritating journalist that was Anastasia's closest friend, but he couldn't deny her access either. Well, he could, but he was too tired to bother.

He turned back to find Kate had stopped in the middle of the room and had her hands over her mouth.

"What did that bastard do to her?"

Christian wearily ran his hands through his hair and returned to his seat beside the bed. "She has a fractured skull, a concussion and several bruised ribs."

"Did he…" Kate looked at Christian wide eyed.

"No." he shook his head as his lips thinned at the very idea of Hyde even touching Anastasia, let alone sexually assaulting her. "No."

Kate's shoulders physically slumped in relief as she stepped up to the end of the bed and shakily took hold of the end of it. "What happened? How did this happen?" She turned on him then "How could you let this happen? I thought you were supposed to be protecting her?"

"Are you writing a fucking expose?" he demanded before he could help himself.

She glared at him. "Fuck you, Grey. I'm here because of Ana and only because of Ana."

"Watch yourself, Miss. Kavanagh, I can easily have you thrown out."

"Try it! She is my friend…."

Christian rose; he was spoiling for a fight, for someone to turn his fear and rage on and she was just as good a target as any. "She is my wife!"

"You don't fucking own her!" Kate turned and faced him, not in the least intimidated. "I should have kidnapped her myself and gotten her the hell away from you when I had the chance! This is your fucking fault! She was fine until you entered her life and started twisting her thinking!"

"Anastasia's mind is her own, Miss. Kavanagh and it always has been. Perhaps if you spent less time trying to emasculate me to Anastasia, she would have confided in you, her best friend, of what she was doing!"

"How dare you turn this around on me! You're the control freak here, Grey, not me! She can't go take a piss without asking your permission first!"

Christian stepped closer to her, dangerously near losing control. "First you accuse me of not protecting her then you say I'm too protective. Make up your fucking mind!"

Kate fisted her hands at her sides. "You think I'm afraid of you? I'm not Ana and you can't push me around the way you do her!"

"Don't think you're safe from me because you're a woman…"

"That's right! You get off on knocking women around, don't you, Grey?"

Christian stumbled backwards as if she had physically struck him. "Get out."

"Go to hell!"

"Get the fuck out of here!"

"Hey!" Elliot entered and rushed towards them. "I can hear you guys down the hall. What the hell is wrong with you two?"

"Get her the fuck out of here, Elliot," Christian warned. "Or I'll fucking throw her out!"

"Try it you son of a bitch!"

"Kate!" Elliot snapped. "Knock it off! I don't know what your issue is with my brother and I don't fucking care, but this is not the time or place for this shit."

"But he…"

"I don't care! We're in Ana's fucking hospital room and she sure as hell doesn't need to hear the two of you snarling at each other when she wakes up so fucking back off!" He turned to Christian. "I know you're upset, bro, but Kate has just as much right to be here as you do."

"The hell she does!"

'She does! She is Ana's best friend and you should know better than to try and come between that." He looked at both of them. "Now, both of you either calm the fuck down or I'll toss both of you out of this room and sit with Ana myself!"

Kate and Christian glared at each other venomously, neither willing to give the other the satisfaction of being the first one to concede, but then Anastasia's heart monitor beeped louder and faster than the steady rhythm it had been on and Christian immediately turned to her; forgetting about Kate and everyone else.

"Ana?" he asked, taking her hand and hovering over her, studying her face. "Baby?" The heart machine beeped again, erratically and it unnerved him. Could she hear them fighting and was upset over it? Was she coming out of her unconscious state or drawing further away? "Come back to me, Ana, please? I'm sorry if we upset you, we won't anymore." He glanced at Kate, meaningfully. "Kate and I are friends again, please come back, baby. I'm lost without you, Ana. Come back to me, please?"

Kate's eyes welled with tears at the utter devotion that Christian displayed over his wife and his sheer desolation when Anastasia did not respond to his plea. Shame filled her from her part of their disagreement and she reached forward to pat Anastasia leg under the covers. "Come on Steele," she encouraged. "You've milked this long enough. Wake up, honey."

Nothing. Kate and Christian exchanged a sad glance.

"Why won't she wake up?" he moaned as he slumped in the chair again and pressed Anastasia's limp hand to his cheek. What if she still wanted to leave him? What if she was still upset about their fight? God, not knowing was killing him! "Why can't they do something to make her wake up?"

Elliot curled his hand around Kate's shoulder and she turned into him. "She will, Chris, she will." She had to, he thought, because he didn't want to lose his brother again. It had taken so many years for him and Christian to be like brothers, and while they still weren't as close as he would like, things were better. Christian was better and it was all because of Anastasia. Christian needed her, but so did all of the Grey's now.

Christian regarded his wife intently as he thought about Kate's words. Perhaps Anastasia had been better off without him. It wasn't the first time he'd considered the idea. Hell, he'd tried to warn her away from the beginning. Maybe he was just as responsible as Hyde for putting her here. God knew he wasn't easy to live with, and being one of the richest men in the world he had put her in the spot light.

How many more times would people try to harm him by using Anastasia? How many more Hyde's were out there, waiting for their chance? Christ Jesus, how was he going to protect her from all of them? She'd fight him, she always fought him when he threatened her independence. He hated fighting with her, abso-fucking-lutely hated it. And yet, he did not have the strength to walk away from her. He was a coward, a low life, selfish coward.

"We'll leave you alone," Elliot finally said, after no one spoke for several minutes.

"No. I want to stay." She looked at Christian. "Please?"

Christian looked from Kate to Elliot, who smiled and nodded, encouragingly. Finally, he nodded and turned his attention back to Anastasia.

Elliot kissed Kate and, as an after thought, stepped over and ruffled Christian's hair. "No more fighting, or I'm bringing in the big guns…Mom."

Christian smirked and slapped his brother's hand away from his hair, but he nodded in agreement.

Kate pulled the second chair over to the other side of Anastasia's bed and settled down to watch her friend sleep. After several minutes, she spoke. "What was she thinking?"

"I don't know," Christian admitted quietly, a hint of agony in his voice. "I keep asking that and no one has an answer."

Kate shifted and crossed her arms and legs. "She'll have a lot of explaining to do when she wakes up."

Christian didn't even care about that, he just wanted Ana to wake up.

Kate sat silently for a moment, then lowered her eyes and picked at her nails. "I'm…sorry about what I said. I know this isn't your fault."

"Isn't it?"

She glanced at him, startled. "No. It's Hyde's."

"You were right, Kate. I should have protected her."

She sighed in frustration. "Look, I can be a bitch when I want, but I admit when I'm wrong and this wasn't your fault. You can't watch her twenty-four seven, and even if you tried she'd resent you for it." She shifted in her chair, trying to get comfortable. "No, Ana would have found a way around you, no matter what she did. She's very pigheaded that way, sometimes."

"I thought she was leaving me."

Kate's eyes widened at the soft anguish in his voice. "Well, that's just as stupid as her running after a fucking kidnapper!" she snapped.

Christian looked at her, stunned by the comment. "Excuse me?"

"Ana loves you, Grey, though I can't for the life of me figure out why. She would never leave you. Trust me, I've tried to convince her to do just that several times and she wouldn't budge." She looked at her nails again. "You make her happy, for some God damn reason, and…" She wet her lips as she considered her next words, which felt like someone was pulling the teeth from her head without any numbing agent. "That's good enough for me."

Christian's eyes widened, surprised. "It is?"

She shrugged. "I only want her to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted, and if being with you makes her happy then…I guess I can put up with you."

"How generous of you."

"Don't push it, Grey. Doesn't mean I like you any better."

"Likewise."

They fell into silence again until Christian took his turn at being amiable.

"Elliot seems quite taken with you."

"It's mutual."

"Then I guess we will just have to put up with each other for the happiness of those we…care about."

"I guess so." She smirked as she thought of Elliot barging in and scolding them. "I've never really seem him pissed off before."

"I have. It isn't pretty."

She smirked. "Do you really think he would have told your mother on us?"

"No, I have too much dirt on him for him to pull that shit."

"Oh really? What kind of dirt?"

"Oh no, I'm not even going there, Miss. Kavanagh."

Kate grinned but then her gaze returned to Anastasia and her amusement faded. "I was so scared when Elliot told me what happened."

"Me too."

Christian was still scared. Visions of what could have happened plagued him like waking nightmares. What if he hadn't gotten the call about Hyde's bail? What if Anastasia hadn't brought that gun along with her? What if Hyde had managed to get away with Anastasia and Mia and he never saw them again? God the horror of it had him trembling again and he stiffened his posture to push away the panic and fear that threatened, once again, to overwhelm him.

"And now I'm just angry!" Kate huffed completely unaware of the inner turmoil of the man opposite of her. "How could she do this? Risk her life like this without any consideration of the people who love her? It was stupid and foolish and just…very un-cool!"

"I agree."

"I'm glad she's…okay, but honestly, I feel like beating her within an inch of her life for scaring me like that." She smirked. "I might have to borrow one of your whips or canes to get my point across."

"I don't have them anymore."

Kate would have fallen over if she hadn't been sitting down. She'd been joking, for Christ's sake! Jesus, what kind of shit was he into? She'd found the agreement Anastasia had been given initially, but holy shit! Did he have some kind of dungeon or something equally sickening?

Remembering her promise to behave, she took another route. "Um…you…you don't?"

"No. I got rid of them."

His quiet admission made her curious; especially that he was bothering to speak of something so personal. "Why?"

"To keep Anastasia."

Kate felt another wave of shame fill her, and she actually flushed when Christian looked away from the woman he loved and turned those beautiful grey eyes on her. He was a fucking beautiful man, there was absolutely no doubt, and despite her aversion to him she felt punch of his magnetism deep in her gut. She could see why Ana found him so hard to resist.

"I would never hurt her, Kate. I would never want to see her hurt. I know you think I'm a beast, and…maybe I am, but I don't do anything to Anastasia that she doesn't want or that…she doesn't ask me for. I swear it."

Kate regarded him intently, held his gaze and saw the truth in it. "I believe you," she finally said and then pulled her eyes away from the intensity of his. "But I still don't like you."

Christian nodded, resigned. "I can live with that."

Kate nodded, and then suddenly shivered, hospitals always seemed so cold. She reached forward and took Anastasia's other hand, careful of the IV, and was startled when she felt a comforting warmth spread across her shoulders. She watched Christian return to his seat and, after a moment, gratefully slid her arms into the suit jacket he'd draped over her.

* * *

Christian's phone rang and he snapped it open. "Grey!"

"Mr. Grey, it's Troy Whelan, manager of…."

"I know who you are, Whelan. Why are you calling?"

"Well, Mr. Grey, I just wanted to assure you that your man dropped off the money from today's…unfortunate encounter and we've settled it back into your account. We are all horrified by what's happened to Mrs. Grey and if there is anything, anything at all we can…"

"Mrs. Grey told you not to call me, didn't she, Whelan?" Christian demanded. He desperately needed someone to take out his frustration on and the bank manager had made the unfortunate mistake of calling.

"Well…yes, Mr. Grey, however the sum of money she was asking for…"

"Would have been easily covered, correct?"

"Yes…yes, of course, however…well, you see Mr. Grey, she didn't have proper identification for…"

"Identification? Do you watch television, Whelan? Read a magazine or newspaper?"

"Why yes, of course, but…"

"Then you would know what Mrs. Grey looked like. Everyone in the fucking world knows what she looks like." There was another pause and Christian could practically feel the bank manager sweating through the phone.

"I….I'm not quite sure what it is you're implying, Mr. Grey…"

"Implying? Nothing. My wife came to you and asked to take out money, you refused her request. Is that not true?"

"I…I….Sir, if you'll allow me to explain…"

"Yes, Whelan, do explain. Explain to me why you think my wife shouldn't be treated with the same respect that I assume you would award me." A feral smile worked its way across Christian's lips at the sound of the other man's consecutive gulping swallows.

"Mr. Grey, I apologize if I gave you that impression and I can assure you that my decision was based purely on the suspicion that something was not quite right about her request, and it seemed that my suspicion was confirmed from what I have heard on the news…."

"So now you're saying you suspected my wife of some criminal activity because she came in to withdraw money from an account that has her name on it?"

"What? N…no! No, that wasn't…Mr. Grey, I would never…"

"I suggest you start rehearsing your speech to the president of your bank, Whelan, because if I cannot count on my wife being treated with respect when she attends your institution I will find such service elsewhere."

"Mr. Grey! That surely isn't nece…."

Christian hung up on him and sighed. Damn that felt good. Yes, so okay, if Whelan hadn't called him he would never have known that Anastasia wasn't at work, or been suspicious when he got the news about Hyde, but damn it, that fucking phone call had torn him to pieces, regardless of the outcome. It felt good to make someone pay for it.

"Taylor!"

Taylor entered the room seconds later. "Yes, Sir?"

"It's all over the fucking news!"

"I know, Sir. One of the nurses leaked the information; she's already been dealt with. We're doing all we can to prevent any further information leaking."

"How much do they know?"

"Just that Mrs. Grey was involved in a kidnapping. They don't know about Hyde or Morgan."

"Mia?"

Taylor nodded grimly. "She's been mentioned, but so far they haven't concluded that she was the one kidnapped. Mr. Grey is working on getting an injunction to stop the broadcasts, citing their interference in an ongoing police investigation, but he is not sure it will hold."

"No." Christian's hand tightened over his phone as he glanced back at Anastasia. Fucking scavengers. "I guess…I need to release a statement…"

"Mrs. Grey has already done that, Sir, and very eloquently I might add."

Christian nodded. Yes, his mother and father knew how to handle the press, that was for sure.

"Has Mia gone home?"

Taylor nodded. "They released her a few hours ago, Mr. and Mrs. Grey took her home."

Christian walked to the window and looked out. He glanced over at the beautiful arrangement of flowers that Sawyer had purchased, now settled on the small hospital bureau. Beside them was another arrangement from his parents. "I…I should get her some flowers, shouldn't I?"

"They'll be delivered shortly, Sir."

Christian bit his lip, feeling so much gratitude in that moment that he almost wanted to hug Taylor; almost. "How many?"

"A lot. I gave Gail your credit card, so you may have to sell off a part of the company to pay the bill."

Christian grinned for the first time in hours. "Thank you, Jason."

"We care about her too, Mr. Grey."

Christian turned to Taylor and nodded. "I know you do. I know that and I'm glad." He turned and leaned against the window, crossed his arms over his chest. "What about the woman? The one with Hyde?"

"Elizabeth Morgan, Sir. She worked with Mrs. Grey at SIP and is in custody talking to the police."

Christian paled, and then flushed beat red. "A co-worker of Ana's did this? A woman she worked with?"

"Apparently so," Taylor nodded. "We haven't had any other information on that front, the police are playing things close to the vest."

Christian started to pace again. A person at SIP had been in cahoots with Hyde? Why? Why would anyone want to hurt his wife? "Why wasn't this woman flagged on the original back ground checks of the company?"

"She worked with Hyde, Sir, but there was no indication that they were more than colleagues."

Christian slammed his hand against the wall, furious. "Have Welch run them again," he growled. "Run every fucking employee at that company. I want to know who they are, who they're fucking and what they had for fucking breakfast!"

"Yes, sir." Taylor turned to leave, just as Detective Clark entered.

"Mr. Grey," he greeted. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, but I need to get a statement from Mrs. Grey…"

Christian rounded on him. "Detective, as you can see, my wife is in no state to answer your questions!"

Clark's gaze fell over Anastasia's still form. "She's a headstrong young woman, Mr. Grey.

"I wish she'd killed the fucker."

"That would have meant more paperwork for me, Mr. Grey."

Christian grunted and put himself between Anastasia and the detective, protectively.

"Miss. Morgan is singing like the proverbial canary," he offered calmly. "Hyde's a real twisted son of a bitch. He has a serious grudge against your father and you especially."

Christian's eyebrows rose. "Why me, especially?"

"Not sure yet, but he has pictures of you, articles of you, practically a shrine really." Detective Clark decided against mentioning how most of the pictures of Christian, his face had been slashed. "He was smart though, according to Morgan he preyed on women sexually, and if they tried to put them off, he found something in their past to black mail them with. Then, once he'd forced them to have sex with him, he would video tape it and threaten to expose them if they told anyone."

Christian immediately thought of the insurance photo's he'd had in his safe and felt nausea bubble up inside him.

"Apparently he was a brutal son of a bitch, into some real kinky stuff and Morgan claimed that he filmed her during some very compromising situations, so that she could never go to the police or her company superior without Hyde threatening to make the tapes public."

Christian turned away and tried to swallow around the sudden bile in his throat. Christ! Was he in better than Hyde, for using similar practices? He had never blackmailed or forced anyone, but fuck! Kinky, compromising positions? Fuck!

"Anyway, Hyde won't be granted bail again and the prosecution is pushing for the maximum sentence on the kidnapping charges."

Christian spun around. "Kidnapping?" He growled. "He tried to kill my wife!" And their unborn child.

"Assault and battery will be added to the charges." The detective held up his hands, defensively. "Trust me, Mr. Grey, there are more than enough charges to keep him in a cage for a very, very long time."

Christian gripped the back of the chair until his knuckles grew white. "I don't want him to ever hurt my family again, do you understand that? He can't ever be set free again!"

"I can't speak for a jury, Mr. Grey, but we are doing all we can and…"

"All you can is not enough!" Christian closed his eyes tightly and reigned in his temper. It was obvious he would need to deal with the matter himself. There was no way that Hyde would ever be allowed to threaten Anastasia again. "Thank you for the report, Detective."

"Certainly. Please be sure to contact me as soon as Mrs. Grey regains consciousness."

"You will not bother her with this further…"

"Mr. Grey, I understand you're upset, but I still have to do my job. Her testimony will be what puts the nail in Hyde's coffin. She still needs to give a statement."

"Now is not the time."

Clark considered pushing for another minute or so, but then finally nodded and left. "I hope Mrs. Grey is better soon. I'll be back"

Christian nodded curtly then turned to Taylor. "Get me everything on Elizabeth Morgan," he growled. "And contact Blake. We need a fall back if the jury doesn't do their fucking job because Jack Hyde is never getting near my family again."

"I'll take care of it," Taylor assured and went out.


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Characters belong to E.L. James. Spoilers for Fifty Shades Freed.

Wow! So much love and praise, I am not sure what to say. I am fully delighted you are enjoying the story and I am even more delighted (and flabbergasted at times) to read your fantastic reviews. Thank you all so very, very much. I hope you enjoy this next chapter as much as you have the others. Shout out to heliter dianhs who subtly asked for a POV of when Christian took Troy Whelan's first call from the bank...Hope it measures up. And please, do continue to review.

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

_I answer my blackberry just as we reach the roof top helipad for our trip to Portland. "Grey."_

_"Mr. Grey, this is Troy Whelan, from National Trust Bank."_

_"What can I do for you, Mr. Whelan?"_

_"I am terribly sorry to bother you, sir, but your wife is here, or she says she your wife, however she has ID for Anastasia Steele..."_

_Ana is at my bank? She is supposed to be at work. If she isn't at work then why the hell haven't we heard from Sawyer? He said he dropped her at fucking work! "We were just recently married, Whelan," I reply as a tingle of fear starts to crawl up my spine and spreads across my entire body. "What does Mrs. Grey want?"_

_"Well, sir, she...she's asked for five million dollars and I thought it prudent, especially as you are just newly married, that I contact you regarding such an irregular request."_

_I halt halfway to the helicopter. Five million dollars! Why the fuck would Ana need five million dollars? And then it hits me, like a punch in the gut, the truth hits me. She is running. She is leaving me! No! Nononononono! She can't leave me. I need her! I love her. Fuck!_

_"Mr. Grey? Mr. Grey?"_

_"I...I want to talk to her."_

_"Well, Sir, she didn't actually want me to call you, which was another reason I chose to call you and..."_

_"Put my wife on the fucking phone!"_

_"Yes, of course, Sir, however I...I need to know what you would like me to do about the money."_

_He closed his eyes as the world tilted on its access, were they having an earthquake? "Give it to her. Whatever she wants."_

_"Well, Mr. Grey, of course we don't have that much ready cash available in your account, now we can do installments..."_

_"Do whatever you have to do to give her what she asks for Whelan." Even now, even now as my heart threatens to rip from my chest in fear and the light in my world starts to go dim, I am still a slave to my love for Anastasia. Whatever she asks for, whatever she wants I will give it to her. That's all I've ever wanted was for her to be happy. "I'll liquidate some assets and have the money back to you within a few hours."_

_"Sir, this is not our usual procedure for..."_

_"Give her whatever she asks for or I'll close my fucking account there and have all my other associates do the same, until your fucking bank is bankrupt! Now put my wife on the God damn phone!"_

_I wait for what seems an endless amount of time, and then finally Anastasia's quiet, familiar voice came on the line. _

_"Hi."_

_That's all she had to say to me, is hi? She's ripping my fucking heart out and all she can say is hi? It takes everything I have to force the question out through lips that suddenly feel dry and swollen. "You're leaving me?"_

_At first she denies it and I feel some of the fear lift, but then, she confirms it and my entire world falls apart. My hand shoots out to grip the closest solid thing to me, which is Taylor's arm. My chest tightens so painfully I'm sure that I am having a heart attack._

_"Ana..." Don't do this. Don't fucking do this to me! You promised! You promised never to leave me! Why are you doing this? I love you, Ana! I love you. Please don't leave me! "I..." _

_My throat closes up, I can't seem to get proper air into my lungs, and I realize, as if from far away, that Taylor has me around the waist; holding me up. I try to push away, I don't want to be seen like this. I don't want to be weak, but I can't find my legs. Where are my legs? Why can't I feel my legs?_

_"Christian, please. Don't..."_

_Don't what? Don't love you? I already love you! I already need you. You can't do this, Anastasia! You're my wife! You can't do this! "You're going?"_

_"Yes."_

_My eyes close and I wonder if this is what death feels like, this horrible, encompassing, nauseating pain; this...deadening of the other senses; my arms, my legs...even my mouth doesn't feel...right. "But why the cash?" I ask her, pleading for an answer that I am so very afraid she will give. "Was it always the money?" My father wasn't right about you. He couldn't have been right about you. I know you, Anastasia. I love you. You are not that person. Please, for the love of God, don't be that person._

_"No."_

_Her whispered denial is the nail in my coffin, because I believe her, and if it isn't about the money, that means she is leaving me because she no longer loves me, or can no longer be with me. Has she been lying to me all this time? Did she ever love me or did my fifty shades finally chase her away. Did I finally ruin the one good thing in my life? I feel a flutter of anger, at her, at myself, at fucking Whelan for calling me and fucking up my life, and I try to encourage the anger to grow. Anger is better than this...this agony. I can deal with anger, I can use anger. "Is five million enough?"_

_"Yes."_

_It's not enough! It will never be enough! Is that all I am worth to you is fucking five million dollars? Is that all my pain is worth, my love? And the anger grows and with it, a blessed numbness. I can now stand on my own and I push Taylor away. "And the baby?" My baby. Our baby. Is that why you're running, my lovely Anastasia? Is that why you have to flee, because I hurt you? Because I didn't understand about the baby? Did I do this to you? To us? Did I force you to run?_

_"I'll take care of the baby."_

_My hand tightens on the phone as my blurred vision finally starts to clear and I see Taylor on his phone, but watching me closely. She'll take care of it. Of course she will. She wouldn't want a monster like me near her child. Why would she? This is why she's running. I'm a monster and the other night showed her the truth. The truth that she could never love a man like me, that no one could and I was a fool to think otherwise._

_"This is what you want?"_

_"Yes."_

_Fuck! Why? Why do you have to run? Why can't you love me the way I love you? I tried to change. I've tried to be everything you needed me to be and the first little hick up and you fucking run. Let her have my money, she already has my heart, my soul, what the fuck did I care about anything else?_

_"Take it all!"_

_"Christian! It's for you, for your family. Please, don't..."_

_Your my family, Anastasia! You and that baby you're carrying and you're running away from me. Take the fucking money, let it make you happy the way I couldn't. Please! "Take it all, Anastasia."_

_"Christian..."_

_Her voice, the agony and tears in her voice tells me how hard a choice this must be for her, but she is still making that choice; the choice to leave. I can't stop her, I won't force her to stay. My throat swells with emotion and I barely manage to croak out my farewell. "I'll always love you."" I end the call and drop the blackberry in the same motion. I am numb and it is better. Better than what I was feeling before. Better than feeling at all._

_"Mr. Grey?"_

_I turn slowly towards Taylor, on automatic now more than anything._

_"Sir, I just received word. Hyde has made bail."_

_I stare at him, it takes a few moments for the words to register. "How..." I begin, expecting to feel fury at the news and yet I am still numb from the loss of my Anastasia. Anastasia who wants five million dollars to run away and...and...A horrendous heaviness twists in my chest, a pain far worse than what I had just felt and my eyes widen in terror. Why would she need exactly five million dollars? Why had she slipped away from Sawyer when she knew how important her safety was to him and...My mind plays back her last words...'It's for you, for your family.'_

_"Sweet fucking Christ!" I grab Taylor. "She's going to him! She's going after Hyde!"_

The echo of an announcement over the hospital speaker startled Christian from his memory of twenty-four hours ago. He slowly straightened in the chair and stared at Anastasia, waiting for some movement, some indication that she was waking up. Had he dozed off? He couldn't be sure, but it seemed like it had only been a few moments ago when it was dark outside the window, now the faint glow of morning was seeping through the glass.

All night long he waited. He read to her, sang to her, begged her to wake up, and then, then he just sat and waited, and prayed. Nurses had come in to check on her, encouraged him to leave or get some sleep, but he would not be moved.

His blackberry vibrated and he pulled it out, stared at the number, then answered it. "Grey." His voice was weary with exhaustion and worry.

"Christy?"

Christian allowed himself a small smile at the sound of his little sister's voice. "Hey, Mia. How are you feeling?"

"It...it's early. I shouldn't have called, but I'm finally...well...focused and I knew you'd probably still be up with Ana."

"I am."

"Is she any better? Mom won't let me go back to the hospital, and frankly I feel like crap anyway, but I wanted to know...if Ana was okay."

"She's sleeping still."

There was a quiet pause, and then Mia said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, baby."

"Oh, Christian! This is all my fault! I should have listened to you and Dad about the security, but I..."

"None of that matters now, Mia." He had enough blame to carry without needing hers as well. "You and Anastasia are safe and that's all that matters."

"She saved me! Like...Like a real super hero or something she..." Mia released a quiet sob. "I overheard some of what...what that asshole was going to do to her. he...he was so angry Christian and... I was so scared, but I kept wishing that Anastasia wouldn't come. I didn't want her to be hurt!"

"I know. Don't dwell on it, Mia. Get some rest. We're all okay now and Hyde is back where he belongs."

"Christian, will...when Ana wakes up, will you tell her thank you for me?"

"I will."

"And...and will you tell her...that...um...I love her?"

Christian closed his eyes as his heart melted for his little sister's unconditional acceptance. "She knows that, Mia. She knows or she would never have done what she did." And suddenly, Anastasia's actions made a little more sense to him. He was still angry about it, but they made a little more sense.

"I love you, Christy."

"I love you to, Mia." He heard her quick intake of breath, and another sob released. "What's wrong? Baby, you're safe now. Don't cry."

"It...It's not...I...I know...I know I'm...safe..." Mia hiccuped through her tears. "You...I...You've n...never said...that to me b...before."

"Said what, baby?"

"T...that you love me."

Christian gasped. Hadn't he? Surely that wasn't true? Well, maybe it was true. Guilt assailed him for being so remiss, for he truly adored Mia. "I'm sorry for that. I...I do love you, Mia. I adore you and I promise to...to try and say it more often from now on."

"It doesn't matter," Mia sniffed. "Not now. Now that you've said it and I...I know. I mean...I've always known because you're so...so good to me and you let me touch you when... but...well..." Another sniff. "I love you so much, Christian. And I love Ana and Elliot and Mom and Dad and...and just everybody so much." Another long pause. "I better go, I think Mom is up."

"Okay baby. I'll call you when Ana wakes up, okay?"

"Okay. Kisses, Christy."

"Kisses, Mia." Christian hung up and hung his head in shame. What had he been putting his family through all these years? Maybe Ana was right, maybe he had been taken them for granted or refusing to accept their love for him because he felt undeserving. But, that was a very hard habit to break.

His gaze fell upon Anastasia as he realized the full enormity of what she had done for him, how she had...opened him to the love of others when he wasn't even looking. The very idea of what could have been had Kate Kavanagh not been sick and had been the one to interview him sent his mind reeling. He couldn't imagine his life without Anastasia now, would never be satisfied without her now, or happy.

Happy. He was happy. For the first time ever that he could remember, he felt happy. he had thought he was happy before with all his material things and his power and his money and his subs but he wasn't. He was leading a tolerable, private existence; so private apparently that he had closed himself off from those he cared most about without meaning to. Not that he was going to go and reveal all his dark secrets or offer his mother the key to his playroom, but perhaps it was time he shared more with his family.

And when Anastasia woke he would start with her, with telling her anything and everything she ever wanted to know; even, if it came to it, about his relationship with Elena. He didn't understand her preoccupation with his former friend, but it didn't matter if he understood. It was what she wanted, what she needed and he would give it to her. All Anastasia had to do was wake up and he would be an open book for her.

His blackberry vibrated again but he switched it to ignore. He didn't want to talk to anyone else. He'd had enough of concerned 'friends' and business associates that called him after they had heard the news. He rubbed his eyes wearily and glanced, blurry-eyed at his watch. It was just a little past six in the morning. He took Anastasia's hand in his, rubbed his fingers across her knuckles and up the soft skin of her arm, then tiredly bent his head and touched his lips to her skin.

"Morning, Mrs. Grey," he murmured, and managed the energy to rise. He winced at the crick in his back and pressed his lips to Anastasia's forehead. "Why won't you wake up, sweetheart? I have so much to tell you and if you don't wake up soon, I'm liable to chicken out and crawl back inside myself again; as Flynn would say." When he received no response he kissed her lips. "Okay, baby, okay. I'll wait."

He carefully released her hand, placed it back on the bed and moved to the bathroom to relieve himself. He caught sight of his reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror as he was washing his hands and almost laughed at the sight.

"Well Grey, you look like shit." He rubbed at the stubble under his chin and tried to restore some order to his hair, which had been pulled and riffled through seven ways from Sunday over the last few hours. "Fuck it," he said and splashed water over his face, just as he heard the door open. He was back in the room immediately, but it was only the night nurse.

"How are we this morning, Mr. Grey?" she asked cheerfully as she efficiently took Anastasia's blood pressure.

"We are fucking fantastic," he snarled. "How the fuck are you?" He winced at his own bad behavior, for he knew that this nurse had been on duty over twelve hours. "I…I'm sorry."

She nodded in understanding and made a twirling motion with her finger. "I need to check her catheter."

"She's my wife, I know what she looks like…"

"Perhaps so, but even while asleep she should be awarded some privacy, shouldn't she?"

Christian rolled his eyes and moved to the door. "Two minutes." He stepped outside and was surprised to find Welch seated in a chair outside the door, reading a magazine. "Where's Taylor?"

Welch rose and tossed the magazine aside. "He's catching an hour in the nurse's lounge, I said I'd spot him."

Christian nodded tiredly, he didn't begrudge his men down time and Taylor had been awake as long, if not longer, than he had. "Anything I need to know about?"

"Not that I am aware of, Sir." He had already run the SIP employees and nothing else had popped regarding Jack Hyde.

Welch glanced past Christian as Taylor walked up holding a tray of coffees. "I thought you were napping with the nurses?"

"I couldn't sleep, so went for a walk instead." Taylor handed Welch the larger cup, and the tray, then pulled a cup out for Christian. "How is she?"

"Still asleep," Christian muttered as he played with the lid of his coffee. "You should try and sleep, Jason."

"I will," Taylor agreed as he opened his coffee and took a sip. "When you do."

Christian smirked and indicated the forth lidded cup that Welch has set on the floor by his chair. "Who's that one for?"

"It's tea," Taylor returned quietly and sipped his coffee. "I thought maybe, Mrs. Grey might like it when she woke up."

Christian stared at him in appreciation then moved aside as the nurse exited the room. "Did she wake up?"

"No." the nurse gave him a kind smile. "But her vitals are very good. I think she'll be coming around soon, so don't you worry."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, if you need anything else, let the nurses' station know. I'm off shift."

"Have a good morning, Juanita," Taylor smiled and lifted his cup to her.

"I will as long as there is a bed involved." She walked off smiling.

Christian turned to Taylor. "How do you know her name?"

"I asked her."

"Very astute of you."

"I'm paid to pay attention to who's around, remember?"

Christian nodded. "Come inside," he requested as he stepped back into Anastasia's room. Taylor followed and waited. "Something on your mind, Jason?"

Jason nodded. Aside from the fact that his employer desperately needed to sleep before he fell over? "Mrs. Grey's assistant from SIP has called the hospital multiple times, sir, asking about Mrs. Grey's condition. The nurses finally put her through to me and she was quite near hysterical when I refused to give her any information."

"What's her name…Hannah isn't it?"

"Yes, sir."

She and Anastasia seemed quite close, and he recalled the young woman's background check. Knowing she would be working with his wife, Christian had ensured that full disclosure had been required before Hannah could get the job. He remembered she lived with her ailing mother and volunteered at a youth center. He'd liked her, at least on paper.

"Call her back, tell her…" He fought with how much to divulge. He didn't know if he could trust Hanna not to comment to the press. "Tell her Mrs. Grey is recovering and…" He chewed on his lip as he forced himself to think how his wife would handle the situation.

"Actually, sir. She's here."

Christian spun around, startled. "Here?"

"Yes. I told her that she wouldn't be able to see Mrs. Grey, but she wanted to come here and wait anyway. She's been here since about ten last night."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" He set his coffee on the locker by the bed. Another irresponsible, stubborn woman! No wonder she and Anastasia got along so well. He didn't want anyone seeing Ana, not like this, and he honestly didn't think Anastasia would want anyone to see her in this state either. He paced twice then ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, send her in. Anything to get her to go the fuck home."

Taylor nodded and stepped out.

A few moments later Taylor admitted a very timid and tearful Hanna into the room.

Hanna's eyes widened at the sight of Christian Grey, she hadn't considered he'd be there, but then of course he would be. He was Anastasia's husband. "Um…H…hello, M…Mr. Grey."

"Hello, Hanna." The utter devastation and obvious exhaustion on her face softened Christian's heart and he waved his hand to her. "Come in. Anastasia's sleeping right now, but she'll be glad that you came."

Hanna's lower lip wobbled and she bit hard on it, causing a stab of need to go through Christian as he thought of Anastasia's habit. God, he wished she would wake up.

"I…I couldn't believe it when I…She…Ana…Mrs. Grey was ill today. She said she was ill and I…I tried to help her, Mr. Grey, I did and if…if I had any…any clue what…" Tears streamed down her face. "She wasn't herself. I knew that and I…I should have…Oh God. This is all my fault!"

Christian was startled by her confession and placed a hand on her shoulders as he guided her to the chair he'd been sitting in. "This is not your fault, Hanna. My wife is a ridiculously stubborn creature, she sets her mind and that is it, she doesn't consider the consequences."

"Oh, but if I had…." Hanna shook her head miserably, startled and touched when Christian offered her his handkerchief. "She is stubborn. She's so, so stubborn."

"She is indeed."

She glanced up at him, shyly. "She's been so very happy, since…since her wedding. It's lovely to see her so happy, so alive and vibrant."

"And just as stubborn."

A chuckle slipped out before Hannah could prevent it. "She should be horsewhipped!" Then she stared at him, appalled. "Oh my! I didn't mean that! Here she is bandaged and broken and I go and say something so…so stupid!"

Christian squeezed her shoulder. "I understand completely," he replied and felt his control start to slip. He needed to be alone with Anastasia again, and while he was trying to be kind to this woman who cared so very much for his wife, his selfishness was rearing its ugly head again. "Hannah, I'm sure that Anastasia will be very pleased you came to see her, but she needs her rest."

Hanna nodded and quickly stood. "Yes. Of course. I…I just wanted to see her…to know…" She wiped her face and offered him back his handkerchief as she fought with her emotions. "Thank you for…for letting me see her."

"Keep it." Christian waved the cloth away. "I trust I can count on you to keep things at SIP running smoothly until Anastasia returns?"

Hannah blushed. "Oh yes! I…I'll do my best, Sir."

"Good." He paused for a moment as he remembered Taylor's report. "Hannah, can you tell me if you've noticed any of the other employees at SIP acting strangely towards Mrs. Grey?" Just because none of the background checks pinged again this time didn't mean there wasn't more beneath the surface.

Hannah blinked. "Strangely?"

"Any sign of resentment among them, or perhaps a personality clash? Someone that doesn't get on well with my wife?"

Hannah flushed, obviously caught between loyalty to her boss and loyalty to her co-workers. She wasn't one to stir the pot. "Everyone likes Mrs. Grey."

"I'm glad to hear that, but are you sure there isn't some background resentment? After all, she did make editor after only a couple of weeks working there. Perhaps someone that has been there longer might be upset over that. Maybe a comment or two in passing was made in the lunchroom?"

Hannah considered his words then shook her head. "Honestly, Mr. Grey, I've only been there a short time myself and I haven't seen any…discontent. Mrs. Grey knows what she's doing and she's very good at it. I didn't know Mr. Hyde, but I…" She paused and shook her head. "No, I…I shouldn't speculate…"

"Please, Hannah? I need to know if my wife will be safe going back to SIP."

Hannah's eyes rounded to the size of saucers and her heart skipped a beat at the obvious devotion of the man standing before her. "Well…Sir, if anything there seems to be a sense of…relief. I…I've heard a few…comments about Mr. Hyde, but it's all just gossip really."

"Oh? Like what?"

Hannah flushed. "Sir, I…I don't want to get anyone in trouble…"

"It won't go any farther than this room, I promise."

"Well, just comments like…well…things like the ladies saying that…um…finally they're…er…breasts were safe and…and things like that."

Christian nodded. "I see. Thank you for confiding in me, Hannah. I promise you won't get anyone in trouble."

Hannah bit her lip and nodded.

"And, Hannah, I would appreciate if this visit could remain between us?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. I've already refused to give any statement to those vultures outside. They don't care about Ana, they just want a story. I won't breathe a word, Mr. Grey."

"Good."

"Will…could you let me know how she's doing?"

Christian nodded. "Contact Taylor, I'll let him know that he is free to keep you updated."

Her shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank you, Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, for being such a good friend to Anastasia, Hannah."

She moved towards the door and Christian followed to pull it open. Hannah glanced back at Anastasia. "I just feel so…helpless."

Christian's gaze followed Hanna's and lingered over his wife. "We all do," he replied quietly then waited a moment and stepped back out into the hall and to Welch said. "Follow her. Let me know if she talks to anyone and who they are. " He did like Hannah, but he couldn't take any chances with Anastasia's safety.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Characters belong to E.L. James.

Okay everyone, final chapter and probably the one most of you have been waiting for, Christian and Ray. I hope you enjoy it and thank you all for the fantastic support. This story is over, but I have other Fifty Shades up my sleeve, which I will endevor to add to the site soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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**CHAPTER 7**

"I don't care what they're telling you, it's wrong!" Christian growled into his phone as he paced Anastasia's private hospital room. "I've seen the numbers and the reports and they're full of shit. Our offer stands as it is and you tell them if they keep trying to delay, the deal is off and they can fucking explain to their shareholders why they had to go bankrupt!" He ended the call abruptly and ran his hands through his hair.

"Christian?"

Christian glanced up as Ray entered, pale and shaking. He immediately walked to the older gentleman. "She's going to be okay, Ray." He hoped to Christ that he was telling the truth.

Ray's gaze roamed the quiet form of his daughter, so pale and still it almost broke his heart. He couldn't think what he would do if he lost Ana, couldn't comprehend a life without his beautiful little girl. And she knew he couldn't handle such a thing, knew her loss would be the death of him, yet she went ahead and put herself in danger, as if she didn't care what it might do to those around her.

That fellow Taylor, Christian's bodyguard or security, or whatever the hell the man was had filled him in about what happened and he couldn't for the life of him understand what Ana had done.

"If you don't take her across your knee, I sure as hell will. What the hell was she thinking?"

"Trust me, Ray. I might do just that."

"She's headstrong," Ray murmured as he moved to the other side of Anastasia's bed and gently touched her cheek. "Always was. Always had a plan of what she was gonna do, who she was gonna be." He sniffed suspiciously, and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket to blow his nose. "Bit of a cold," he excused.

Christian let the lie side, he could see Ray was just barely holding it together and felt his pain. He was barely able to stand upright himself. "It's going around."

Ray nodded, sniffed again and then cleared his throat as he put his handkerchief back in his pocket. "I called her mom, told her not to come 'till we know more. No sense until we know more, right?" His voice broke and he cleared his throat several more times.

"I agree." Christian cursed his own selfishness, but quite frankly he wasn't up to dealing with Anastasia's mother. He worried she would blame him and his mood was dark enough without that. "The doctor's say she'll be fine, Ray."

Ray set his intense, slightly wet gaze on Christian. "And what do you say?"

Christian opened his mouth and then closed it again. What could he say? Did he tell Ray that he was terrified that Anastasia wouldn't wake up? Or that he was afraid she didn't want to wake up because she didn't want to see or talk to her own husband? Did he confess his horrible treatment of his wife to her father and pray the older man would forgive him, or perhaps beat him to pulp. And he could, even in Ray's fragile condition; the older man could easily beat the shit out of him because he wouldn't even attempt to defend himself.

If he hadn't been angry he wouldn't have left so early yesterday morning to avoid talking to his wife. If he hadn't left so early, maybe Anastasia would have stayed home from work or at least tried to talk to him. Maybe he could have been with her when she got the call from Hyde and maybe if he'd apologized for his behavior she would have confided in him.

"Christian?"

Christian turned his eyes to Anastasia. She had to come back to him. He couldn't think…couldn't consider the alternative. "We have to trust the doctors."

Ray nodded. "I wasn't too keen on this whole marriage thing, you know."

"Yes, I know." Christian couldn't imagine any father that would want their daughter to marry a man like him, not if that father knew the truth.

"Seems an awful lot has happened lately, more well that I could have imagined. Some of it good, some…" He thought of his own recent injuries. "Some not so good."

I'm trying, Ray, Christian wanted to cry. I'm trying so damn hard to protect her, to be whom and what she needs me to be. "Yes."

"I don't always tell Ana I…well…how I feel. Maybe that's a bad thing, but it's hard…for a man like me to get the words…right."

Christian nodded. He understood that well enough. Between him and Ray it was a wonder Anastasia even bothered with either of them half the time. "She knows," he replied simply and it was true.

Somehow, Anastasia always knew how he really felt without him having to tell her. Oh, sure, sometimes she asked him to explain something, or she'd get the wrong idea about something he said, but that was more his fault than hers. He didn't always say things the way he meant to say them and he was so angry at himself for not being able to say certain things, to accept certain things…it was no wonder that Anastasia got so confused.

He turned his attention back to Ray, who looked like he was ready to fall over. "You should go rest, Ray. I'll let you know when Ana wakes up."

"How long you been here?"

"Since we brought her in."

"That fella what took her, he in jail?"

"Yes." Christian tried to bury the surge of rage the mere thought of Jack Hyde produced.

"He gonna get away with what he did?"

"No." One way or another, if the system didn't do its job, Christian knew people who would take care of the problem. Jack Hyde would never, ever be allowed to hurt his wife or his family again. "I'll make sure of it."

Ray studied Christian for a long moment, regarded the signs of fatigue and suffering that lined the younger man's face and decided that this man truly and unconditionally loved Ana, but that deadly tone in the voice of one still so young concerned him. He didn't want to think about how his new son-in-law, a man obviously used to getting everything he wanted, would handle the issue of the man who had kidnapped his wife. What was that saying? Better the Devil you know? Or was it, what you don't know can't hurt you? Either one was a sure sign that Ray should not be broaching the subject of Jack Hyde again.

Christian Grey was a pleasant sort, seemed to know a thing or two about fishing, for a kid who owned his own multi-million dollar company anyway. But, Ray recognized the simmering of obsession in the stoic, exhausted fellow before him, having gone through a bout of it himself with Anastasia's mother. Christian Grey was used to control, order, and having things his way and Ray was sure that when Christian didn't get his way, people paid dearly.

Ray wanted to lend some advice on the subject, for he understood such powerful tendencies, was much the same in fact; at least he was until the day he held a beautiful, smiling young girl in his arms, and then all his control went out the window. But Christian Grey, at twenty-something was one of the world's richest and most powerful men. How could a bumbling, blue collar Joe like him give advice to someone as substantial as Christian Grey?

But, successful or not, the boy had a few things to learn yet, like the fact that there really was really was no control when it came to women; any kind of women. The more you tried to tighten the leash the more they wiggled out of it. He'd tried to control Ana for a very short while; when she was younger, and it had been one of the reasons he and her mother had fought. He'd tried to keep them safe, keep them secure and do his job as the man of the house, but his ways were rejected, rebelled against and finally he'd given in and let himself be swept up in a female's odd sense of reason and need for chaos.

He fell in love with Ana in a way that he'd never experienced before, and while he still had difficult voicing his thoughts and showing emotion; you can take the control away from the boy, but you can't take the boy away from the control, she always seemed to know what he couldn't say.

His attempts to change had been too late to save his marriage, but his relationship with his daughter grew stronger, despite his mistakes. He wasn't her father, but by God, she was his daughter, and always would be. She had never treated him as anything but a father and he was so incredibly grateful to her for that.

Now, seeing her lying in this bed, knowing she'd done something so risky, so foolish, he wondered if he shouldn't have been harder on her. Even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew he couldn't have been, for Ana was his light and his heart and he could never do anything that would upset her. She was also a force to be reckoned with, especially when her heart was involved and as he looked over the man that she had married, he knew that her heart was involved all the way and would never be turned.

When he first heard of what happened he'd blamed Christian. He had trusted this man to keep his baby safe, had given her away, albeit reluctantly, to this powerful billionaire expecting that, if not with all his money, at least with Christian's confidence and need for control he would keep Ana safe. But that hadn't happened. Instead, some maniac got his hands on his baby and now she was in the hospital.

Ray also admitted to feeling the slightest twinge of jealousy towards Christian, as well. It was unreasonable to feel jealous that Ana loved another, unreasonable to think she would not have enough love now for her old dad, but it was there and he couldn't deny it. Perhaps that was what made him want to blame Christian, want to find fault with this fellow who had swept his Ana into a whirlwind marriage. Still…the man knew his fish.

Ray's gaze wandered over the barely hidden grief on his son-in-law's face and it was evident that this man was shouldering enough blame for the both of them. Unable to blame Christian, he'd turned his anger towards the doctors and the maniac that had hurt his baby girl; but in the end, reason prevailed. He knew that Ana had made the choice she had because she was Ana, and nothing he, or her new husband or anyone else could have said would have stopped her.

He was angry about it, hurt that she would take such a stupid risk and terrified for her now that he saw her in the hospital looking so weak and fragile, but God help him, he was proud too. She faced her fears, made a sacrifice for someone she loved, several someone's she loved and how could a father not be proud of his girl for that? He wouldn't tell her of course, no, she'd get the wrong idea and try something equally stupid or dangerous next time. So, he'd stay mad a little while, let her know the consequences of such behavior, maybe let her fuss over him in that special way she had when she thought he was upset with her, and then things would get back to normal again. They'd forgive and forget and all would be well.

He walked over to the front of Anastasia's bed and bent to kiss her cheek. If the doctors and Christian said his baby would be okay, he had to believe that. He couldn't allow himself to believe anything else. He loved his girl so very much.

He felt a sharp twinge in his chest, which quickly moved down to his gut and then shot up to his brain, as he reached out for the bedrail to steady himself.

"Ray!" Christian was beside Anastasia's father instantly, his arms around the older man in support. "You need to lie down."

"I…I'm okay, just a little light headed, is all. Too much…" He shook his head as his eyes filled up again; thinking of Anna. "Too much."

"I know, Ray, I know." He eased Ray into the only other chair in the room and poured him a glass of water from the picture by Anastasia's bed. "Take it easy, now."

Ray sipped the water, caught Christian's hand and squeezed it in appreciation. "You're a good boy…A good…man. I'm glad my Ana found you."

Christian felt heat sting his cheeks, uncomfortable with Ray's confession. Anastasia had said that Ray didn't talk much when it came to his emotions or in the way of compliments either, so it surprised him that Ray would say such a thing to him.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I…I'm lucky to have found her, Ray." He couldn't accept being thought of so kindly, he wasn't…used to it. This man trusted him with his daughter and he'd screwed up. Anastasia had gotten hurt and it was all his fault!

Ray finished off his water quietly then rose. "I'm good now. I'll be back later." He caught Christian's shoulder. "You'll…come get me if…when she wakes up?"

"I will."

Ray nodded and was only mildly amused when Christian followed him to the door, as if making sure he didn't fall. Taylor stood outside the door and nodded to Ray, who nodded back before shuffling down the hall. Christian tilted his head and Taylor silently followed the older man to his destination.

Christian closed the door, leaned against it and sighed. He felt tears spring to his eyes again and placed his fists against them, refusing to cry anymore. Finally, sapped of energy he pushed away from the door and settled in his chair beside Anastasia's bed. He took her hand in both of his. "Oh baby, please come back to me." He laid his head against her lap. "I'm sorry. Sorry for everything. Just wake up. I miss you. I love you so fucking much!"

**_CONTINUES ON IN FIFTY SHADES FREED_**


	8. Chapter 8

_Characters belong to E.L. James. Spoilers obviously for Fifty Shades Freed._

_Okay, so I was officially finished with this story, but the number of you who have requested a scene for when Ana wakes up has been overwhelming, so to show my appreciation for your continued readership and reviews, I have added this small, little snippet. I don't usually like to write around another Author's words, for me it messes up the flow. A few quotes, or pieces of dialogue is fine, but a fully written scene is much more difficult, so I did not delve to far into the scene. _

_Anyway, I hope you don't find my attempt to choppy and are fully satisfied; since you are the ones who asked for it. LOL! If you do like it, please feel free to let me know. Thanks again for the support! Cheers!_

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**CHAPTER 8**

Christian feels the gentle brush of fingers in his hair and startles awake, his head shoots up in surprise from where he had been dozing with his head on the bed. Ana is staring at him, her eyes open, her face pale and he can see the pain and confusion in her eyes. Is it real? Is she really awake or is he dreaming?

"Hi."

One simple word is all it takes to release him from his uncertainty as he grasps her hand, gives it a gentle squeeze and places it against his unshaven cheek. It's real. She's real. He isn't dreaming! "Oh, Ana." God! God, how he had missed the sound of her voice. It had only been a little over a day but he'd missed the sound of her beautiful, sweet voice.

"I need to use the bathroom," she whispers.

Of all the things he envisioned her saying when she woke up, this was not one of them. At first, he is so surprised that he can only stare at her, then, slowly he replies. "Okay."

She struggles to sit up and he immediately rises to his feet, alarmed. He feels a surge of fear that, despite being in a hospital and having just woken from a coma, she will do herself further damage by moving. It is an irrational fear, but he isn't feeling very rational at the moment.

"Ana, stay still. I'll call for a nurse." He reaches for the buzzer at her bedside, fumbles with it because his hands are shaking from the desperate need to protect her, hold her, spank her, all at once.

"Please. I need to get up."

Frustrated with himself and his raging, churning emotions he snaps at her. "Will you do as you're told for once!"

He is immediately appalled at his behavior. Why couldn't she just listen to him? Why couldn't she accept that he knew what was best for her? Even as his thoughts form she focuses on him and his complete, unfettered love punches him so hard in the gut he almost stumbles back. Fuck! The power of her eyes upon him, the symphony of her voice was almost his undoing and he had to grip the back of the chair to keep from falling to his knees, and begging her to forgive him, to love him again.

He feels the surge of arousal as she bites her lip, but it is almost immediately dampened as he focuses on the cut across that beautiful swollen lip. She looks so lost, so vulnerable and he finds himself out of his depth, falling, falling hard into a pit of despair that he was to blame for that cut, that bruise across her cheek, that confusion and pain in her eyes.

He didn't know what to do, what to say. How to ask for her forgiveness. What would he do if she told him she never wanted to see him again? What if he couldn't change enough to keep her? What if she didn't want their child anymore? What if….

"I really need to pee."

Again her words take him by surprise and he is working very hard to find a response. He knows what the proper response should be, he should take her to the bathroom, but what if in moving her he hurt her? What if she passes out again on the way and he has to go through this horrendous nightmare again; waiting for her to wake up?

A nurse enters, she prattles on and mentions calling the doctor and Ana replies, but their words are muffled because Christian is transfixed by his wife and struggling with his emotions. His wide awake, fully conscious obstinate, beautiful, generous, palm-twitchingly frustrating wife is awake. The idea of losing her now, now that he had her back again, now that he has heard her voice again, sees her smile and those breath taking guileless eyes he knows he will do anything for her. Like a raging fire that scorches his skin, her brand is burned into him, into his heart and soul, without even a touch. He can't think without her, can't live, breathe, _be_ without Anastasia.

He manages to pull himself back from his terror, his relief, his insane hunger and madness in time to see Anastasia slide her legs over the side of the bed.

"Ana," he warns, his fear propelling him forward as he moves to assist, to protect that which is his. To love and cherish her forever.

"Let me remove your catheter." The nurse offers and then to him says. "Mr. Grey, I am sure Mrs. Grey would like some privacy."

Christian looks at the nurse as if she's lost her mind. She couldn't honestly expect him to leave Anastasia, not now that she was awake, not now after a hellish two nights by her side waiting for the love of his life to wake up. Not after he had been foolish enough to let his guard down and allow her to be kidnapped right out from under his nose. Well, right out from that idiot Sawyer's nose, anyway. No. He wasn't about to let Anastasia out of his sight!

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Christian, please!"

He tries not to show the hurt Anastasia's request causes, the anger or fear. Why was she trying to get rid of him? Was she still angry with him? Was this her way of telling him to fuck off?

"Please!" Ana squeezes his hand and he realizes that she isn't angry but embarrassed.

How could she possibly be embarrassed, after all they had done together? For Christ's sake, he'd done far worse, put far worse inside her than a stupid fucking pissing bag! Did she really think he gave a shit about something like that? He knew her body in a way no one ever could and he would never be ashamed of seeing her, in any form. She was his wife, for Christ's sakes, that meant good or bad, sickness and health, catheters and fucking IV's and whatever else she might have sticking out of her. He would still be there for her.

Then she looked at him, really looked at him, and the truth slammed full tilt into him like a semi-truck against a thin glass window; only he didn't shatter. If anything, he grew stronger. Everything everyone had said to him over the last twenty-four hours suddenly, finally, sank in. Anastasia wasn't going anywhere.

She had never meant to leave him, and damn it he'd known that the moment he had heard about Hyde, but he hadn't been able to stop the fear, the worry that there was a grain of truth in her running. But she hadn't been running away, she'd been running to. Running to save Mia, running to save his sister and defeat Hyde; for him.

Because she loved him and she loved Mia and his mother and father and fuck…everyone. Despite all his fifty shades, she truly loved him, was willing to sacrifice for him. Dear fucking Christ how could he have been so blind? He felt actual physical pain in his chest that he allowed himself to mistrust her, to toss away everything they had because of his own insecurity.

Anastasia moaned and gave him a more beseeching look. He shook his head, shook away the past, the hurt and focused on her, but he didn't want to leave her, he didn't want to let her out of his sight. Okay, so maybe it would take awhile to get rid of all of his insecurities, but how could he refuse her? She was ill and battered and bruised and she had to take a piss and didn't want to piss in the bag, good, fine, but why did he have to leave the fucking room?

"Fine!" he snaps and runs his hands through his hair, trying and failing to get a grip on himself. "You have two minutes." He hisses at the nurse, before leaning down to kiss Ana's forehead, hoping she understood, hoping she would know that he would keep the promise he'd made while she was sleeping, that he would take their vows seriously and he would be there for her, love her, protect her, cherish her, forever and ever.

Taylor stepped forward as Christian exited Anastasia's room. "Mrs. Grey?"

"She's awake." Christian's knees suddenly grew weak as he said the words and his irritation at being put from the room suddenly turned to unbridled relief. He appreciated the hand on his arm, though he would never admit it.

Taylor felt every muscle in his body relax. "Did she say anything?"

"She has to pee."

Taylor blinked and then returned to full operative mode. "She'll need clean clothes."

"Yes." Christian found himself floundering.

All he could think of was that Anastasia was awake and what now? Would she forgive him or would she still be angry? He no longer believed she would leave him but what if the whole thing with the fucking catheter was just the start of her pushing him away, distancing herself from him? Was she still wary about his feelings for the baby? Did she think he was still angry and was putting up a wall between them to avoid him hurting her again? No. No! He wouldn't allow that! He needed her. He had to make her understand that he would be better, he would change. That he wanted her, and the baby and whatever else she wanted he would do.

Taylor nodded and made no comment on the obvious emotional struggle his employer was going through. "I'll go do that then."

"Yes." Suddenly hit with an overwhelming urge to see Anastasia again Christian turned and bolted back into the hospital room, in time to see the nurse helping Ana out of bed. He had to make things up to her. He had to love her the way she needed, the way she deserved to be loved! "I'll take her."

"Mr. Grey, I can manage…"

"Damn it, she's my wife. I'll take her!" He sets the IV stand out of the way and ignores the scolding from the nurse as he pulls Anastasia into his arms. He is appalled at how light she seems and it takes all of his will power not to crush her in his arms and just run away, back to Escala, where they could be alone and she would be safe from harm. "Mrs. Grey, you're too light." He carries Ana to the ensuite bathroom and carefully sets her on her feet. She sways and wobbles, but makes no effort to do anything else. "Sit before you fall!"

She sits. "Go." She waves him out.

"No. Just pee, Ana."

"I can't, not with you here."  
Her words wound him at first, but then he spots the pink of her cheeks and he is lightly amused. They slept together, showered together and she had allowed him to do things to her that far exceeded peeing in front of him, yet now she was reluctant, shy? It astounded him. "You might fall."

"Please!"

He raises his hands in defeat. "I'll stand outside, door open." He moves just outside the door and then hears her request to turn around. He rolls his eyes but concedes and turns away, not because he wants to, but because she sounds so damn bashful!

The sound of her urination offers him a little relief, as well, at least that part of her seems to be working well. The nurse is glaring at him and he offers her his very best Don't-Fuck-With-Me-Or-I'll-Crush-You-Like-A-Bug glare, until she finally falters and looks away. Christian feels his lips twitch, he hasn't met anyone yet that can stand up to that stare, well, maybe Ana could but he would never use it on her.

"I'm done."

Christian turns around and gently picks up his wife again. The feel of her, the scent that is Anastasia is intoxicating and he is once again reminded of what he almost lost. He walks to the bed but doesn't release her immediately; instead he holds her closer and buries his face in her hair. "Oh, I've missed you, Mrs. Grey." A moment, he just needs a moment to get control again, to avoid falling down at her feet, weeping and begging her to always be his. Anastasia curls into him, seeming reluctant to also be released and his deep love for her almost carries them both away.

Then Nurse Nora clears her throat and insistently pushes the IV stand closer, nudging Christian back to the present, where he is forced to place Anastasia back in the hospital bed so the bloody nurse can fuss.

"If you're quite finished, Mr. Grey, I'd like to check over Mrs. Grey now."

Christian is amused at the barking cow and slowly, deliberately steps back and waves a hand towards Anastasia. "She's all yours." He knows the woman has to do her job, but he is not used to being spoken to in the way that this nurse spoke to him. It both irritates and amuses him.

He is more amused when the nurse huffs at him, actually huffs with exasperation, before turning her attention back to Anastasia. His eyes roam over the nurse's head to meet with his wife's and he makes a face behind the nurse's back that causes Anastasia's lips to twitch.

As he listens to the two women discuss Anastasia's condition he feels a weight pressing down on him. She is so very pale, and bruised and she sounds so exhausted, despite having slept for over a day. It tears at his heart to know she is suffering and he is unsure what he can do for her, what he should do for her. The full extent of what has happened, what was done to her hits him hard, again, and he reaches for the end of the bed to steady himself. Slowly he sits, his eyes never leaving those of his wife's.

"How _are_ you feeling?" he asks and knows she will tell him the truth.

"Confused. Achy. Hungry."

He blinks. "Hungry?" She is so rarely hungry; he has to harass her to eat, for fuck's sake! "What do you want to eat?" This is something he can do, a way he can help her!

"Anything. Soup."

"Mr. Grey, you'll need the doctor's approval before Mrs. Grey can eat."

Christian casts an indifferent look at the nurse and is reminded of the teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoons that Elliot used to watch. He knows she's speaking, but he isn't paying enough attention to her for it to make sense. He pulls out his blackberry and dials Taylor's number. "Ana wants chicken soup."

"I'll pick some up," Taylor advises. "I'm just on the way back to the hospital. I have a change of clothes for Mrs. Grey."

"Good."

"Sir, I'm very glad Mrs. Grey is feeling better."

Christian gains a new appreciation for his head of security, knowing that Taylor has been awake as long as he has and possibly almost as distraught. "Thank you." He hangs up as Nurse Nora's eyes narrow on him and she is, again ignored.

"Taylor?" Ana asks and Christian nods.

The nurse advises that Anastasia's blood pressure is normal and that she is going to bring the doctor, but Christian has already dismissed her and only has eyes for his beloved wife.

"I think you made Nurse Nora mad."

"I have that effect on women," Christian smirks, thinking of all the times he has made his wife angry. He is pleased and delighted when Anastasia laughs and suddenly everything is right with the world. "Oh, Ana. I love to hear you laugh."

_**That's all she wrote folks (at least all I am writing for this scene).**_

_**So, once again… continued in Fifty Shades Freed. **_


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